bj's gay porno-crazed ramblings

Tuesday, May 31, 2005
more Moose, please

previous pic seemed to go over well, so here's more Moose. What a doll! Tell me you wouldn't want to be sitting on his face with that gorgeous tongue attacking your crotch!




Sunday, May 29, 2005
my imaginary boyfriend

Nothing says EAT MY HOT HAIRY HOLE like wicker, you know? You just can't guess how strong my tongue would get with his..... Gee, I wouldn't know where to start (OK, so maybe i do know - so get out of the way!) But, alas, he's just another classic pornstar, one of the many that I ought to do a filmography/videography on; but I'm sure SMUTJUNKIES must have a good page, no?




Saturday, May 28, 2005
name the pornstar

I think somewhere on BMB they said not to copy pics, or use them on other sites, but I figure if this guy can use 20-year old copyrighted pics, why not me? So, guess the pornstar's name(s) and win bonus points. Guess the magazine these pics came from, and get double bonus points. (For triple points, find me, count my jockstraps, and name the brand of H´┐Żagen-Dazs)




Friday, May 27, 2005

miss me?
back from chicago; can't think of much to say, honestly. But thanks to the folks who wrote, and even those who didn't, but checked in since my last, apparently vague, posting a week ago. If you look closely at the pic, you'll see the little hand I am clutching - that of my youngest niece. I took an extra day after my uncle's wake and funeral to just hang with my immediate family. Thursday, my two sisters, my niece, and I spent a couple hours together - a Mexican restaurant, and some time at the lakefront. My Dad loved the lakefront, and since his passing, I have tried to go there each time I visit Chicago to think, and remember him. So much better than walking alone in the sand , it was wonderful to spend time with my sisters and my little adorable niece. I hope years from now, my nieces and nephews have the same types of wonderful memories I have from my childhood with my aunts and uncles. I need to work a bit more on that.



Friday, May 20, 2005
Who does this? Within a couple hours of the news, I am in someone else's bed. I am trying not to think of my inattention; he's sweet, doesn't seem to mind, and is treating me well. Then today, after talking to Mom on the phone, I decide I must go to the barber. She had told me two days earlier, just in case, that I am not expected to come. But now I am thinking, just in case, I should look a bit less, um, I dunno, threatening? An expired I.D., getting on an airplane in this day and age, why not look a bit more presentable, and Mom would probably apprecite me not looking so shaggy. I instruct the barber what I want - shorter, but fuller in the mustache, chin. I tell him this two or three times, knowing full well I won't like what he does anyway. But it'll look better in a few days, right? And besides, it does grow back. Clip clip clip, then chair released downward for the shave. My mind wanders, I am not relaxed, these kids are noisy, why did i come after school hours? Radio isn't even on the corny, yet soothing station the barbers always used to play; Blondie-disco-hit, I think about how amazing all the aunts and uncles were when my Dad died. Hard to believe it was over ten years ago. All on my Mom's side of the family, Dad was an only child. Now, one of them is gone, at age 54. The 8th of nine kids, my Mom's little brother. She was sixteen when he was born. I am not sitting in a barber's chair crying.



Thursday, May 19, 2005
The backs of my calves are so sore! (do calves have fronts?) And as much as I still want Hugo, I think he's more the marrying type - especially for cuddling and eating in bed; Dave Allen is hotter, and I think would be better for a short, but intense, fuck-all-night everynight affair. Still, it was HUGO's name I was yelling once again for the encores (yelling DAVE! just doesn't have any zing to it, ya know?) I don't know how those guys do it - two night's as an audience member, and I nearly need hospitalization!

9am update: no, really, I can barely make it into the next room for coffee; may have to stay in bed all day - anyone out there DELIVER?




Wednesday, May 18, 2005
While others plot the fate of nations
We spent afternoons in an embrace

Who the F*CK kept screaming HUGO! HUGO! HUGO! HEW-GO! at the end of the second encore, after the always last song, Damaged Goods? Oh, right.
me.
But fuck, man, that drummer is f*ckin' hot!

BEST
LIVE
BAND
EVER!!!!

still

And don't get on me about him being str8, and married, and all that - the chances that man and I would ever meet are, well, anyway, he's hot. I want to do it with him, and my legs are still wobbly from last night. (those are two separate thoughts, mind you; don't know why they are in the same sentence) I wonder if he prefers to be called Professor Burnham? I've always had a thing for men who teach. (Hugo, 1979) Anyway, as you probably can tell, it was fanfuckintastic, and I wouldn't know how to begin describing it. I was somewhat nervous that there would be no way in hell these men could possibly do as good a job as 20+ years ago when I saw them last (Ritz, NYC) or back in Chicago in '82. And I will admit that during the first song it seemed a bit shaky (good, but living up to BEST LIVE BAND EVER is tough, ya know?), but by At Home He's A Tourist the place went f*ckin mad! Or maybe it was just me; I do remember wondering why, with all my hop-thrash-"dancing", I wasn't bumping into the people around me much - maybe they were steering clear. And what song was that where Jon was baseball-batting the microwave oven? And he still has the most incredible stage presence - that caged animal pacing and screaming and bizarre-crazed-restraint in some of the singing.... I could go on (and to the first 5 or 6 men I spoke to at BIG LUG last night after the show, my apologies for going on, and on, and on...). Not Great Men made me giggle. It's my sister's fault. Back in the early 80's, when we'd go to EXIT in Chicago, they'd play all sorts of cool shit - but for some reason, my sister wouldn't hear the actual lyrics "It's not made by great men, It's not made by great men.." she'd hear: "It's my favorite breakfast..." which I inadvertently started singling aloud! Fortunately, know one would hear me. And of course, just like any teenager going to see his favorite band, I had hoped and hoped they'd play my favorite song, but knew I couldn't actually wish for it out loud, or tell anyone, then it wouldn't happen, right? And it's tough to pick a favorite song, especially when you turn on one of their albums, and each successive song you turn the volume up louder, thinking "this is their best song." But the one that would always, ALWAYS get me running to the dancefloor at EXIT, just those first few guitar notes, they did near the end of the set, and it COULD NOT HAVE BEEN BETTER - not even on one of their albums, but on their (2nd, 3rd?) E.P. - Another Day, Another Dollar - To Hell With Poverty (1982) - and the crowd, and me, more than anyone, went wild - and it's one of those great songs that you not only don't mind everyone singing along, you give dirty looks to the one's who aren't, ya know?

In this land right now
some are insane, and they're in charge

I wonder if I have time to make a I LOVE HUGO t-shirt before tonight's show?




Tuesday, May 17, 2005
Sometimes I think money sex is my only goal
it makes me sad
Food coming up, another four miles
Coffee, fries and a cheeseburger



Monday, May 16, 2005
gee is for GARBAGE
Waking up on the wrong side of the bed requires that I be on the fire escape, which didn't happen (today) so it must've happened sometime after I got out of bed, poured some coffee, and started clicking around the internet. The computer crashed right on schedule, just as I was about to "I LIKE" something (er, someone) on BigMuscleBear. Staring at the blue screen, i thought I would listen to some music on the stereo while brushing my teeth, and made the bad decision of grabbing one of my many GARBAGE singles and plopping it into the CD changer and turning up the volume. About 15 seconds into You Look So Fine, I was crying. VERSION 2.0 was a wonderful record, but I forgot why I hardly ever listen to it anymore. The mistake might be listening only to the slow songs, like that single this morning. It goes back to 1999, the last man I loved, LOVED! - or so I thought. who knows, and i don't care - i've been overanalyzing this for 5 fucking years! Anyhoo.... He used to love all the Garbage CD singles I'd buy, especially after the first break-up and the getting-back-together without discussing if we were actually getting-back-together period. He's stand there, in his boxers and dago t-shirt, grooving to whatever latest discs I bought, while i just sat and admired and loved his hairy shoulders, his scruffy face, his scent. I honestly think the scent thing is what I can't get over - it just overwhelmed me and made me crazyhappy and crazycrazy and crazysad. Grrrrrrr - I need some Medication!



Saturday, May 14, 2005
I FEEL A CHANGE, A NEW LIFESTYLE; I'M GETTING READY FOR SOMETHING WILD
SOMETHING WILD



"Hey! There's a coupla guys doing the dirty deed!"

director: Robert Walters (1984) 115 minutes!!

Starring: Glen Armstrong, Scott Avery, Randy Page, Greg Girard (in his first film), Cory Adams, Gavin Burke (aka Rob Montessa), Brian Michaels (aka Bobby Madison), Bud Adams, Ron Collier, Eliot Higgins, Phil Shannon, Wade Davis

gonna have to cheat a bit, and copy/paste my own eBay description, as I need to get my ass (and the rest of me, of course) to work. bUT BEFORE i DO THIS, A COUPLE QUICK NOTES - I just had to show the opening credits, as it shows each lead character, and more importantly, you get to hear the complete theme song, Something Wild; the hot warehouse scene includes the incredulicious Bobby Madison (AKA Brian Michaels) who many of you would remember from The Bigger The Better with his teacher, Matt Ramsey (AKA Peter North), pumping iron (and each other) in the teachers apartment; Greg Girard's first porno film (he's the top in this scene) co-incidentally, is in the other video I have up for sale, Head Trips, (and a clip below from a different scene from that film is shown below), a father/son theme that competes for HOTNESSth with the notorious one from El Paso Wreckign Corp.. ....... am I late for work yet???? Oh yeah, it's a long clip, about 9 minutes, so sit back and enjoy!

"This film is the first full-sound, full-scale release from Nova Studios. Curly blond Scott Avery and Glen Armstrong are two backpackers exchanging sex stories over an evening's campfire as they spend their spring break in the High Sierras."

What sets NOVA Films a part is that every scene has multiple orgasms, well-photographed from more than one angle. This is the original uncut, full-version that was released by NOVA in the 80's; NOT the chopped up 60-minute version sold by MIDNIGHT MEN video.

  • scene 1: Scott Avery and Glen Armstrong are going for a hike in the woods, and spy on 2 guys in a cabin fully going at it. The young men watching are humorous in their awe, while the two inside the cabin never notice, and have a fun, frisky romp - very William Higgin-esque.
  • scene 2: Sitting around the campfire that night, Scott tells a story about his friend, well-muscled, very handsome Gavin Burke (known as Rob Montessa in other films) and a black college professor (Eliot Higgins) in the stacks of the library. These guys barely finish their first orgasms as they go at it again - where Burke performs auto-fellatio as the black professor takes full advantage of the student being flipped over himself.
  • scene 3: Glen Armstrong recounts a story about himself during a job interview, applying for a warehouse position and being asked "Glen, how liberal are you?" When he responds that he worked for Senator Kennedy's campaign, he is interrupted and told that there is a lot of sex at the place The interviewer tells him a story of himself and 3 co-workers. A worker pair are seen coming on to each other by the bossman (redheaded, super-hung Wade Davis) and another worker (all-American Brian Michaels - AKA Bobby Madison), and they turned on to each other in the process. Two separate scenes transpire as the one pair watched the other. The Wade/Michaels pairing is often considered the best pairing in the entire video. When each pair finishes up, the two twosomes become a hot 4-way! (note: good chunks of this scene are missing from the subsequent Midnight Men release!)
  • scene 4: Back to the interview, where Armstrong is initiated into a hot man-on-man sex by his perspective boss, well-endowed Wade Davis.
  • scene 5: Story five is about kissing cousins: country Avery leads his city cousin (square-jawed and naturally built Randy Page) into a sleepover that turns into a lesson in sex for Scott by his apparently well-schooled cousin. (note: this hot scene is completely missing form the latter releases!)
  • scene 6: Glen and Scott eventually in the tent together. Unlike most films that finally have the pairing you've been waiting for, these men obviously have chemistry, and devour each other in, on, and around their sleeping bags!

  • there's even a theme song: "Something Wild" written and performed by Garth Evans. The other music is actually top-notch, jazzy 70's instrumentals during all the sex scenes.



Friday, May 13, 2005
I feel a change, a new lifestyle...
... I think I was gonna post that clip from Something Wild... i'll sober up and try later.



Angst In My Pants
ouch. there was stuff i was gonna do today, my only day off work this week. but, um, i can still taste the tequila in my beard.... I remember thinking "use your indoor voice" as the man explained at 10am why he was leaving my bed.... I drove past the former home of a great bar, now the "SPIKE GALLERY," on my way to The Eagle. A man came up and asked something about a bj, took me a few seconds to realize he meant that pornoblogging guy, BJ; turns out he'd written me months ago, but I never answered (sorry, Andy - hope you are enjoying your stay in NYC, and hope you are resting your face on the handsome furry chest of the handsome furry man you were chatting with when I stumbled out of that place 3 or 4 beers later). And my pants died. No longer a humorous snap or two popping open, it is practically impossible for me to keep them snapped up for more than 3 minutes at a time. Riding the bike across town, the top four of the five snaps undone, I realized the thighs were too tight, as well. I am still clinging to the notion that at least in the thighs, it's muscle that has grown, not fat. Please don't tell me I am wrong. So I avoided all the scary straight clubs on 10th avenue by going up the West Side Highway instead, imagining sex scenarios that surely no longer take place over there. The handsome man guarding the leather curtain smiled and allowed my 4 second drool before I went past him seeking 3 dollar beer(s). Then I paced the three floors, looking but not finding. Back downtown, locking up the bike outside of the Cock, settling for having the bottom two snaps fastened as I gave the big man at the door my money, the place was packed. Cuter, but younger crowd, the volume of the music made it ok for awhile. At one point I looked up and saw the handsome bartender, Javier, standing on top of the bar; instincts pulled me over, and his hand pulled at my chin and poured the golden liquor down my throat, splattering a good bit on my face and into the beard. I don't know how long I was there before I noticed the man who has been in my bed before, and would be again later. He had a big big smile when he saw me - undeserved, as I hadn't called him back after either of the previous times together. Nonetheless I hugged, and clung like a lost puppy who finally found a warm place to sleep. He fondled and groped body parts, and I rubbed and grabbed facial hair, and we didn't seem to need to say anything to indicate he was coming to my place, but he grabbed his coatchecked thing, the lights came on, we headed to the sidewalk with the rest of the, um, patrons.



Thursday, May 12, 2005
This Universe of Men

One of a zillion reasons why I am so unfocused and scatterbrained is that, well, OK, I don't know WHY, I just know there are about a dozen or so things on my mind at the moment, and this inability to focus on just one and get it over with (i.e. those two bills that are past due, and I have the money in the bank, just stop typing this, write out the checks, stick it in something and lick something and ....) plus I have this stack of books I need to sell (need the $$$ desperately, and need the shelf space, too), but each thing I feel the need to exhaustively research before posting! Partly because I don't want to be underselling something valuable, or - egad! - something rare or hard to find; plus I really strive to give as much info as possible to the potential buyers - the way I like to buy stuff online, ya know?

Anyway, I think this book, This Universe of Men, "a collection of erotic science fiction tales" by Greg Logan and illustrated by R. A. Shultz (Firsthand Books, 1992) is out of print. But that alone doesn't help me figure out if I should keep it, save it as a gift for some so far unrevealed collector friend, or just get it over with and post in on eBay. Grrrrrrrrrrr!




Wednesday, May 11, 2005
Brothers In Rhythm
Having gotten way 2 drunk 4 out of the previous 5 nights, what do you think I did last night? Got even drunker, came home and ate everything in sight and didn't get entirely out of bed until about 2:30ish. Ugh. Got a little bit of the blues late last night, that sort of WOW what a great few nights, oh, it's over feeling. But then drifted into a brief which thing was the most fun thing we did nostalgia and lightened up. I'm sort of stuck between two favorites:
  • three gayboys eating take-out dinner, howling, i mean HOWLING at the double episodes of The Simpsons Sunday Night
  • late Monday night/early Tuesday morning, after several beers at a local groovy bar on Avenue C, eating ice cream while I played a mini-miss kittin set for my buddy.

And speaking of cool music, here's the Garbage re-mix of Special I mentioned to Mr Chas during one of those drunken outings.




Chaswithdrawal
My god, it's so f*kin' weird stumblin out if bed to take a piss, and not seeing Chas on the kitchen floor, sleeping.

The Mildred is in mourning.




Tuesday, May 10, 2005
motherfuckers are so nice






Not that I didn't enjoy every friggin' minute of his stay, but he did start to get a tad out of control. With way too much attention from way too many men, I think it started to go to his head, making ugly faces at babies, shoving strangers out of his way, singing "to be famous is so nice, suck my dick, kiss my ass," as he pushed them to the ground.....

.... I hope New York can recover...







Monday, May 09, 2005
HEAD TRIPS

director: Al Parker (1984)

Starring: Al Parker, Cole Taylor, Tico Patterson, Vincent Thomas, Rydar Hanson, Michael Charles, Drake Woods, Ed Wiley (AKA Myles Longue), Greg Girrard

Al Parker's take on virtual reality. In this great little film from 1984, men sit down in a chair, pull on some space-age goggle-thingees, plop in some coins, and select from a menu which fantasy they'd like to see (partake in). Pornstar, Fireman, Father, Restaurant (yeah, seems odd, but when you view the clip with waiter Tico Patterson, you'll see it's pretty cool), etc. Trivia fans will notice that's Al Parker and his lover, Steve Taylor (bearded), at the next table, watching the three-way progress. Too hung over (thanks, Chas) to say more - enjoy!

Of course, eBaying this.




Saturday, May 07, 2005
don't worry, I kicked him to make sure he's still alive



Friday, May 06, 2005

we spent the whole afternoon deciding which jockstraps to wear



Thursday, May 05, 2005
Today has never happened and it doesn't frighten me
Not another Ode To Bjork!!??? As the kids say, DEAL. All Is Full of Love is my favorite I-don't-feel-loved pick-me-up song; Alarm Call, however, is the one that helps remind me to dig in deep and rediscover the adventurous part of me. It's down there somewhere, and with my houseguest arriving soon, I may not need it (small steps first, he's forcing me above 14th St. for some drinking tonight). So, here's some remixes, frenchstyle.



How embarrassing! Once again, I forgot to use spellcheck.



Wednesday, May 04, 2005
WORKOUT

director: Alan Purnell (1982)

Starring: Morgan Winner (body-builder), COLT model Toby, Ross Sanderson, and Peter Moran (+ 3 others?)

background: an early '80's import from Britain, a rarity as that country made it difficult for adult films to be produced there. Originally released in the States on the GAGETAPE label; more recently on the inferior HIS Video label. The director was well-known still photographer, Alan Purnell (popular in European magazines, who was also editor of Him Monthly (aka Him Exclusive), published from 1976 thru the early 80's, I think, which also produced the film). This mixes film and new (at the time) video effects. Lots of foreplay, the tape builds towards the end (and that's when we see the climaxes). Somehow he got COLT model Toby to come out of retirement for this film (who also did a cover for HIM), but oddly, TOBY's presence wasn't the advertised angle; rather, Morgan Winner (a good looking man, don't get me wrong!).

The version I have up for auction, and you won't see any difference in the clip I've posted, is called JOCKSTRAPS LEVIS & LEATHER from the infamous FRAT HOUSE BOYS (they did lots of amateur, hidden camera, that sort of thing, in the 90's), and has a few xtra minutes of footage from some uncredited boxing/wrestling/sucking on the mat thing, plus 95% of the original film - I can't tell what besides the original credits are missing. It's an odd little thing that I've hung on to for about 2-3 years deciding how, and whether, to sell.

Of course, eBaying this tape (god knows the auction might be over (4pm Wednesday) by the time you read this.

Now, here's my semi-monthly (short-version) rant on HIS VIDEO, which now has the rights to this tape. Look - LOOK, DAMNIT! at the cover they use for the video (left, below) then compare it to the original packaging. Then, consider that TOBY (TOBY's face pic is #3 above, cockpic is #4 above; plus on backcover of original 1982 box, 3rd pic below, he's top left in leather, bottom right about to suck some cock - who doesn't want to see TOBY suck cock?), 70's huge uncut COLT porn star fuckin' TOBY is in the film; TOBY who has only ever done 4 films in his entire friggin' pornstar life; TOBY! who AL Parker, fuckin' GOD of PORNSTARS Al fuckin' Parker told Rip Colt when he first signed with COLT that his dream, his fantasy, his ultimate scene would be to do anything with TOBY! (which they did in Chute soon after that), that THE reason he singed with COLT was that it had his fuckin' idol, TOBY, in it. Now, look again at that lame-ass twinky shaved body model cover (who isn't even in the friggin movie, ferchrissakes!!) and tell me I'm making too big of a deal over these folks who have NO RIGHT TO OWN THESE MOVIES they can't market correctly!! Really, who would you rather have sex with, or at least watch have sex? And if, which is OK, you'd rather have watch the twinkyguy in the HIS pic, well, TOUGH SHIT! cuz he is no where to be found on that tape!




Tuesday, May 03, 2005
Que'est-ce-que-c'est TOBY?
Gotta run to work, but if you're good, I'll post a clip late late tonight from a video auction that ends Wednesday afternoon - JOCKSTRAPS LEVIS & LEATHER aka WORKOUT, which features 70's COLT model TOBY in his last ever adult video performance.

Interested?




BUT MY STUFF, OR ELSE!

or else I'm going to GOOGLE ADSENSE!!! (well, maybe not BUT JUST CLICK THE PRETTY PICS ANYWAY, OK?)




Monday, May 02, 2005
Please don't tell people how I live.


I'm having a Lenny afternoon. Remember the Simpsons episode where Marge becomes a Real Estate agent, and she's showing homes to, I think the Flanders. Suddenly, the facade from Lenny's house falls off, revealing him in his underwear, eating out of a can, as he pleads: "Please don't tell people how I live." Well, as I have about 72 hours until the arrival of a guest, a guest who I truly want to see, hang out with, and stay here, I am in one of those my apartment - no, no, my whole way of living - sucks! I can't believe I talked some guy into staying here for 5 days! moments. Dust covering everything, porno stacked to the ceilings, inexplicable things I've found over the years on the streets of NYC, old dinnerware piled up all around the "sleep area" where he gets his 5 square feet of space...... ugh. Get offline and get back to cleaning!