c'mon, c'mon, i love ya

Take Me Home

posted by bj at 8:14 PM

if you open yer mouth and a purse falls out....

i shouldn't be surprised, the night after drinking too much, eating too much when i got home at 3am (or was it 4?) after drinking too much, and, needless to say, alone and not so much as a glance in my direction all night from anyone in that bar i drank too much in - i'm kinda blue. there was a point - not just before i left when i realized everyone in the place was either doing drugs in the john, or partnered guys hooking up with other partnered guys - but earlier, when i realized i was invisible. I was talking to two friends, middle of a sentence, when a guy comes up to us. a bar buddy, pal, and he says hey, starts talking, and as he's getting louder, and more into his story, i'm moving just a little bit away, giving him space, and as he goes on and on, and my pals are engaged in this story, and I can no longer hear him, as I seem to be closer to the loudspeaker, and further away from the three of them, i realize i'm no longer with these guys; the 4th guy is standing in the spot i was standing in just a few minutes ago.....

and i do that sighing thing i do, and retreat a bit further into the dark and either sit in a corner, or grab another useless beer. a certain amount of resignation mixed with anger sets in. sometimes i think i'm just not from this goddman planet. which is weird, cuz i do a lot of the things that you earthlings do, but i seem to look at them with a quizzical, perplexed eye. for example, my semi-addiction to a certain webcamchatroom. i've got my wang out, and i'm looking at other guys with their wangs out, these men i don't know, and rarely say anything except the obligatory i wanna lick your hairy balls while you whack it, man kinda thing (2Bpolite). and then i see typed on the screen: yeah man, i wanna f*ck that ass and i get irritated, like angry irritated - and he wasn't even messenging me! but i'm thinking it's not THAT ass - it's HIS ASS you want to fuck HIS ASS, YOU WANT TO FUCK HIS GODDAM ASS! HIS! HIS! HIS ASS! - he's a person, a human being, not a goddam object on your video screen! and... fuck, why am i not laughing? i should be laughing, but i'm mad, pissed off! and then i just dismiss the whole lot of them (men; i hate/love men, are you figuring that out yet?). And god help the poor schmuck who messages me directly with the i want that big cock up my ass - it's MY BIG COCK, mutherfucker, you want MY BIG COCK up your hot hairy ass (not up THAT hot hairy ASS). it's MY BIG COCK, the big cock you want up your hole belongs to a person, a fuckin goodam person!

and it's like i don't know anyone, ANYONE who even gets it, let alone feels this way. and the stoopid personal ads or "dating" profiles with the UB2's and weird criteria for contacting them. sure, we all get messages form guys we're not into, and sure, some guys can be goddam creepy, but i don't know, i just get all irritated when i read these screeds, these don't be this; do be that profiles, and yet, and yet.... there i am clicking on pics, reading profiles, sending out the occasional hey man, and saying the occasional thanks, man replies. and then, i'm reading hotmusclestudmasctop's profile (i know, don't say it), and he's got ..and if when you open your mouth, a purse falls out.... with some dribble about how it's not a match, or some such nonsense. Now, we all know he's not really weeding out those of us with high-pitched girly voices, he just thinks he's signaling how fuckin butch he is to other hotfuckinmascbutch guys, right? but still, i can't just move on to the next profile, I wanna grab the guy by the throat and say: "if his purse fell out, why can't you just be a fuckin' gentleman and pick it up and hand it back to him, you fuckin loser asshole?"

i think i might have anger issues

posted by bj at 4:22 PM

THE CROTCH WATCHER (AKA Dirty Words)

Director: Bill Clayton (1976)

Starring: Gordon Grant + 3 others

The Crotch Watcher features Gordon Grant as a businessman who jerks off while getting ready to go to work; then he heads to the office bathroom, where he whacks off again in the stall, while another guy is doing the same in the next stall; (the next part is what's featured above, where he signals to the guy, blows him - note the expert tongue-swirling-on-hairy balls Grant gives the guy while he's cumming - such a pro! ooooooooohoh Mr Grant!); when they finish, and he's cleaning up, he spots another guy at the urinal, and does him; and finally, he picks up a 3rd guy on the street, and takes him home for some bedsex - and despite what all the websites tell you, it's NOT Chris Burns! (Grant sitting on the guy's face in the final scene, his perfect stomach hard and glistening, gets me everyf*ckintime!) - All that in a 22-minute film!

Click one of the pics to view the movie trailer (you know that if you view the clip in the browser, you can "right click" and view it FULL SCREEN, right?), or here if you want to download and save for later.

posted by bj at 11:08 AM

Don't know what I want but I can't think about it anymore

Don't know what you want but I can't give it anymore

fighting the urge to go into work (it's a day off), so puttsing around online, slurping (just coffee, alas), and meanwhile, I can't decide which version of PSB's Don't know what you want but I can't give it anymore is best. Any opinions out there?

posted by bj at 10:11 AM

text only edition

despite being dead tired (work has been very very busy - and kinda aggravating, but not in that i-dont-want-to-be-here-i-hate-it-it-sucks way, but more in the damn-im-busy-and-i-cant-accomplish-half-what-i-want way, ya know?) i went out last night for "one beer." 3 beers later, i'm standing there and realize the 3 men nearest me are men i've slept with; one a sweetheart from like 25 years ago (did we meet at Boy Bar, or The Bar?)

today i'm hoping my boss follows up on his threat to FORCE me to leave at 3pm like everyone else, since my inclination is to stay and try to do some catch up. and there's the 4-day weekend, but i might go in on....naw, don't do it!

....p.s. to the two guys who read the post below and commented at the offending website - awww, i luv you guys!

posted by bj at 8:52 AM

'tis the season

Listing files, sorted by the number of failed requests.
#reqs file
2726 /music/Charo_(Mamacita)_Donde_Esta_Santa_Claus.mp3
28 /head/jockstrapboys09a.JPG
24 /pornstars/GALLERY13_2829a.JPG
18 /adultauctionpics/hanes_ashirt.jpg
18 /movie/Wanted02.JPG
17 /head/jockstrapboys04a.JPG
14 /music/Father_And_Son.mp3
14 /blog/guidebook4.JPG
13 /music/why_does_my_heart_feel_so_bad.mp3
13 /blog/stoner001.JPG
13 /blog/GLAMbush1.GIF

wow! so some sort of very popular website is hotlinking to my posting of Charo's funtastic "Mamacita Donde Esta Santa Claus"; sheeesh! with the cost of bandwidth so incredibly cheap, you'd think people would give up on hotlinking and just host their own tunes, pics, and whatnot.... what can ya do? meanwhile, some other dickwad completely lifted my the last time i had a nice ass in my face was..... post - the two porcelli pics (of course, I don't own the rights to them, but again, hotlinking? that's sooooooooooooooo 90's!) and word-for-word my sad lil lament on not getting any in however long. (and NO, I ain't linking to his sorry ass website with playgirl photos of some exgovernor's son-in-law's butt and god-knows what else unoriginal content he provides... but feel free to google "the last time i had a nice ass in my face was....." for yourself)

gee, ain't i in a lovely mood this morning!

posted by bj at 8:32 AM

Sleep a few more nights together

if you're not back in love by Monday

this tune let's me indulge myself in that fantasy that if only i tried a bit harder, did something a bit different, or as the song suggests, take a romantic weekend to rekindle the relationship.... but, of course, the trouble wasn't that i'd fallen out of love, and i don't remember him saying anything about him falling out of love.... anger, fighting, disappointments, poor communication, incompatibility, i don't actually remember him giving me a reason - but love, or the lack of it, didn't seem to be part of what was being yelled at me that night... but i guess that's why songs like this can be so appealing, how it simplifies it to a point that you can hum along, get teary-eyed and wistful, "oh gee, if only we...." especially when you go through one of those droughts, when no one even seems to look in your direction, and you can't remember the last time you were kissed (i do remember the last time i kissed a boy - it was in provincetown, but he didn't really kiss back.... when was that, 2 months ago?? - but... 'nother story) and it seems so hard to even get to where you can consider maybe it will happen again, and you wonder why, why was it so hard to stay together and make that effort... oh you know that cliche - "i'd rather be in no relationship than the wrong relationship" - well yeah, or DUH, as the kids say. i think if i had to make the difference between us as horribly simplistic as possible it was this: relationships are hard - but he didn't accept that, and didn't try hard enough; i accepted it, and didn't try hard enough.

posted by bj at 11:48 PM

why must we learn it the hard way

"I knew a girl, who tried to walk across the lake"

"I knew a boy, who tried to walk across the lake"
posted by bj at 4:51 AM

nottoday

posted by bj at 8:47 AM

hornycowboy

posted by bj at 9:08 AM

Times Square Strip

Director: Jack Deveau (1982). Iowa farm boy Buddy Preston gets job as stripper in New York's Gaiety Theater in Times Square.

Starring: Peter Lopez, Luke, Jack Moore, Buddy Preston, Jerry Overton, Tony West, and Richard Lang (MC); Jason Jacobi, David Dion, Nick Fordham, George Sardi, Plato Pastel, Dale Caesar, Robert Glory. Camerman: Kees Chapman; Editor: Robert Alvarez; Written by: Moose 100 & Dick Bettis; Music from: Prime Cuts - The Double Dance Album.

Click one of the pics to view the movie trailer (you know that if you view the clip in the browser, you can "right click" and view it FULL SCREEN, right?), or here if you want to download and save for later.

posted by bj at 10:50 AM

we need more (man)power

been thinking about Geza X lately, partly because one of the tunes from Catholic reminds me of him (In & Out, which actually makes me think Geza X / Pere Ubu / early Human League) - anyhoo, here's a great tune - We Need More Power

posted by bj at 8:36 AM

manpower

posted by bj at 8:52 AM

Tough Guys

L A TOOL & DIE

Director: Joe Gage

Starring: Richard Locke, Will Seagers, Casey Donovan, Derrick Stanton, Paul Baressi, Bob Blount, Richard Youngblood, Johnny Falconberg, Joe Walsh, Michael Kearns, Joseph Kearns, Shawn Victors, Becky Bitter, Dan Pace (aka Rocky Genero), Scott Sinclair, Gregg Dale, Bob Damon, Roy Harwood, Chuck Cord, Matthew Forde, Steve Rideout, Rev. Spoonball (on the radio), Joe Gage and "The Gage Men" (Carlos Balajo, Patrick Graham, Paul Guild, Erling Hitt, Beau Lovejoy, Max Osterhaut, Jose Solica, Nels Stensgaard, Shelly Gard).

Here we have Joe Gage borrowing an Isaac Hayes tune from the 1974 buddy/action/blaxploitation film Three Tough Guys, (later used in some Tarantino flick) - both here in the movie trailer, and in the opening orgy sequence - Run Faye Run.

Click one of the pics to view the movie trailer (you know that if you view the clip in the browser, you can "right click" and view it FULL SCREEN, right?), or here if you want to download and save for later.

posted by bj at 4:01 AM

k-i-s-s-i-n-g

posted by bj at 8:29 AM

patience pays off

you know you do it. you pretend you do it just for fun, just to get a few laughs. and it's not an addiction, not like those webcamrooms, or the spoogetube websites you visit a couple times a day (always before work, and usually before bed). still, day after day you go (just for laughs). but maybe today will be the day that cute guy who smiled at you will try some silly, desperate thing like post an ad in missed connections on craigslist.

damn it's been a long week - long, tiring days at work, you're coming down with a cold, and it's finally friday. you get a few hours sleep, only to wake up around 2am and turn the computer on. scrolling through the usual news, bearporn, and decoupage sites, you realize you could use a "laugh." Scrolling past you were richard simmons on halloween, you needed toilet paper in the next stall at Macy's, and cop who kept scratching his crotch at deli on 3rd Ave, something jumps out. nawwwww! ....maybe.... nawwwwwwww..... But finally, one of the cuties figured what the heck and is trying to find you! You have to read the ad three times to be sure - and the fact that he's younger makes you hesitate, but after the fourth read of you're the hot bearded daddy that rides your bike to work up 6th avenue every morning, you contact the guy, and you're meeting up for coffee tomorrow! wish me luck! good luck!

posted by bj at 3:30 AM

balls

posted by bj at 9:03 AM

pull the lever

vote, baby vote

posted by bj at 8:36 AM

is that you, Lee Brubaker?

and who's your lucky friend?

i could be wrong, as I've never seen him beardless - whadda you think?

• Mr. Brubaker
• w/man in harness
• "Turned On Cub"

posted by bj at 8:21 AM