alarming, yet rational

The ACLU intends to appeal this morning's State v. Limon decision. If you don't have the time or patience to read the full decision (but you ought to, as the 3 opinions demonstrate 3 clearly different views on the role of the Courts) click on the ACLU press release above. The concurring opinion almost made me as angry as Green's opinion. Malone's was pretty close to the Clarence Thomas opinion in Lawrence - "sheesh, that law does suck, but what are WE supposed to do about it?") I mean, check this out "In Limon's case, the sentencing disparity between a conviction of sodomy and a conviction under 21-3522 is alarming. However, this reflects a problem with our state's sentencing guidelines rather than implicating the constitutionality of the statute. The legislature can address the inequity suffered by Limon and others in his position without this court declaring the present statute unconstitutional." Translation: Not my job.

Any first year law student knows it's an uphill battle when dealing with "rational basis" reasoning - a court can basically pull anything out of its ass and call it "rational" as long as it doesn't sound utterly ridiculous (this is called giving deference to the democratically-elected legislatures - wouldn't want any activist judges telling us to treat queers fairly, now would we?) -- which makes me wonder why everyone was so optimistic about this case.

And you know what else is scarey? Get to the bottom of Green's opinion, the Remedy section - here he states "even if the statute were declared unconstitutional, the proper remedy would be to strike down the entire statute." In other words, fairness would've dictated that if they found the law unconstitutional, they'd get rid of the Romeo and Juliet law in its entirety, keep the kid in jail for 17 years, rather than apply it equally to hetero- and homo-sexual acts, and let the poor kid out of jail!

posted by bj at 3:31 PM

getting angry yet?

Kansas can punish someone more harshly for having sex with a minor if the minor is of the same sex, the state Court of Appeals ruled today. - Matthew Limon stays in jail! As the court ruled, "the Legislature could have rationally determined that heterosexual sodomy between a child and an adult could be put in a class by itself and be dealt with differently than homosexual sodomy between a child an adult." I guess I'll be reading State v. Limon to see how, in God's name, they rationalized this decision after the Supreme Court "vacated the judgment" last June. What was the point of vacating if he's stuck with the same, ridiculous, 17-year sentence for a consensual blowjob?

posted by bj at 12:18 PM

posted by bj at 11:59 AM

Who is Craig Esposito?

Apparently he's one of the few guys who seems to be allowed to sign his artwork for these pornobooks I like to buy, sell, and collect. I just found a couple of links, Who is Craig Esposito? (which has several hot drawings) and Jocko (which apparently is one of his locker room themed comics). Scroll down to last Thursday's entry for another pornobook cover. Enjoy!

posted by bj at 2:57 PM

Here's Luke Bender, sometimes known as Steve Kennedy, star of such adult movies as Lunch Hour (mmmm, with Lon Flexx!), The River, Deep: In Hot Water, Carnival Tails, and Sex, Lies & Video Cassettes. This is one of those images I can't use in my eBay auctions - see, he's holding his stuff, which means it's sex - if he just had his hand say, on his side, it would be ok (that would be art). Oh, for those interested, here's the link to the eBay auction for INCHES magazine.

posted by bj at 11:22 AM

Hey, check out this feature story on Matthew Limon, from Kansas City's The Pitch. While not an update, it's an excellent article with lots of good background info on the case, as well as on Mr. Limon and his family. This article didn't pop up during my usual Google searches for info on Limon this weekend, but rather I was fortunate enough to have the link sent to me by Kansas City resident Bill.
posted by bj at 11:09 AM

Woo-Hoo! I got my red star!
posted by bj at 5:45 PM

Have I mentioned that I haven't had sex in 3 weeks? Thursday night, January 1st was the last time, and I haven't a clue who it was with. Yes, sexclub action. I think if I strained my brain, I might be able to recall the details, but I'm not gonna try. Normally, I'd be complaining, but I haven't really been in the mood for that scene, or any sex thing since then. Don't get me wrong, it's not like I don't want sex; but I don't want to put any effort into it for the time being. Believe me, if BurritoMan ever materialized again (it's been 18 days since I've seen him at the restaurant, not that I'm counting...) or TacoMan (another cutie, who may or may not be gay, and who has indicated NO INTEREST in me, but ever since that time he came into the takeout side to pick up his order, and had obviously been running, or doing something physical and was sweating - when he reached up, and the fragrance from under his arm floated into my face, I got so stoned from his aroma - I was in heaven!) - if one of these fellows, or someone new made some effort in my direction, sure, I'd be up for it (so to speak).

And it's been over 3 weeks since I've had alcohol, smoked dope, worn a jockstrap, poked my screen name into a chatroom, gone to the CRUISTOOL site, been to a bar, or anything else remotely socio-sexual. Even whacking off took a downturn (but no, it hasn't left my diet entirely; it would be a shame to waste these full, heavy balls and thick manmeat, don't you think?) since the first of the year. I guess I'm just hibernating.

posted by bj at 8:19 PM

These are just some stills from these "amateur" videos by Bobby Garcia. His work is sort of in the lines of Old Reliable and Dirk Yates - that west coast give a str8 guy a beer and a few bucks and he'll whack it for ya genre. Doesn't really work for me, but it's still fascinating to watch these. Some say Garcia only released these for commerical use when he needed some dough for legal fees when the Marines went after him; otherwise they were made just for his personal enjoyment. He's often in the frame, either just walking past the guy(s) to get to the bathroom, or to wipe up a mess on a guy's stomach, and yes, he does try to get some of the action, when he can coax them into it (that's his ass in the last frame). Sometimes you can even hear him off-camera on the phone, while the camera is rolling and some guy is trying to get hard and do his jack-off scene! I hope to post the 2 tapes I have on eBay this weekend.

posted by bj at 5:13 PM

I know, I know, I shouldn't judge a book by it's cover - but it's gonna be hard!

posted by bj at 4:48 PM

I'd buy that for a dollar!

posted by bj at 3:11 PM

Ignore the man to the right. He has nothing to do with this post.

While most of the stuff I sell on eBay is gay male porn, I do, on occasion, sell some non-male stuff - like this lovely book: Up Hers.

From the introduction: "Up Hers is one of the frankest and most detailed descriptions of the most vicious perversions of them all - sodomy and lesbianism. Although the subject matter of this novel is unusually sensationial, the reader should be advised that this perverse abnormality is, along with many other unusual deviations, far more common than he might imagine."

For those of you who are not eBay members, but you're curious what naked ladies look like, here's a peek from this 1970 Neptune Reader book.

posted by bj at 4:24 PM

I doubt any of my neighbors read this page. But just in case I want to apologize for yelling loudly at 1:30 in the morning at the TV set FUCK YOU and FUCK YOUR FUCKIN' SANCITY OF MARRIAGE YOU MUTHER FUCKER!

By the way, dude, any news on Osama?

posted by bj at 1:41 AM

I'm just watching the speech now, but he just said "The terrorists continue to plot against America and the civilized world." Doesn't he mean America and the rest of the civilized world?

posted by bj at 12:49 AM

So I decided to treat myself to a trip to the barbershop. Haven't been there in close to a year, doing my own beard and head trimming at home. But I just wanted that bit of attention, despite knowing I might regret having them have a go at my facial hair. He cut way too much off the beard, and not enough off the head; but it doesn't look bad, just not what I wanted. I feel like I lost 2 pounds, and I certainly lost a couple inches from what was only 2 days ago something full and fuzzy to yank on (not that anyone but me was doing the yanking, mind you).

posted by bj at 5:22 PM

I think I started writing this about 10 days ago, but my interest in porn and sex has plummeted greatly (egads!) of late. I had just gotten back from the post office, having shipped off some porn, and having picked up my mail which consisted of some auction payments and 3 packages. The unexpected-looking package I opened first, as I was most curious about it. A package of porno from MSR Videos! Quickly I realized that it was a package from Joe Gage. Yes, the Joe Gage!! Let me back track just a bit. The Sunday prior I got an email from him. Now, it might surprise you that even though he got back in the business maybe 2 years ago, and I've had a webpage of one form or another dedicated to him for over 3 years, I've never tried to get in contact with him. I've helped other folks who wanted to, suggesting they go thru MSR who he now has a contract with. But I guess I am just a bit too shy, and well, I kinda liked the idea of admiring the work itself, and doing tidbits of research on my own on the old films that I love so much. And I've been lucky that a few others from the 70's porno business have contacted me, some I've mentioned here, some who preferred to keep it private, but who were sweet enough to share bits of info on their work so I could incorporate it into the webpages (which, by the way, are in desperate need of updating/revising). Anyway, his email to me was just fantastic - it totally made my day and lifted my spirits. I think we've written each other twice since then. Anyway, he mentioned that if I hadn't seen his recent stuff, I should - then asked for an address to send me some! WOO-HOO! The timing was perfect, as I had just read a really good article on Tulsa County Line, not to mention a very good pal of mine pleading with me to finally see the movie (I've been very worried that I'd be very disappointed; on video as opposed to film, the commercial demands of using modern pornSTARS, etc., etc.) - I even mentioned that to him in my response.

Anyway, so the package comes, and there's 3 tapes from the SEX FILES series, plus CLOSED SET: THE NEW CREW. The press releases in the package mentioned that the 3rd in the Sex Files takes place in North Carolina (GAGE: "When I kept hearing that the leafy, laid-back university town of Durham, North Carolina was a hotbed of behind-the-closed-doors sexual shenanigans, I just had to investigate."); and since I know a few bloggers down there, why not start with this one, and I popped it in the VCR. Now, I've just finished watching the first 45-minutes, forcing myself away from the tape, hoping to jot down some fresh notes, not to mention getting some chores done around here, with the "carrot" of knowing I have good porno to return to when I finish.

What sticks out most in distinguishing this from other modern porno - the use of sound; the use of porn expectations with some twists; and perhaps most important, in the "Gage tradition" - voyeurism - the clear understanding that this is a visual medium, and that men - gay, bi, straight, curious, whatever, get off on WATCHING.

Sound. There is very little dialogue. Just enough to move the "plot" ("I hear you have a big one, can i see?") But background noise is important to give it some feeling of authenticity, this sex is really happening, it's really spontaneous. So, in the first two scenes I watched, no disco music as the sex starts; but rather a football game in the background (if you're really paying attention, you'd notice that thankfully there are no commercials, just the seductive sounds of a game on the TV - which he's used before in HANDsome, if I remember correctly). While of course few people in porn can act, so it's smart to minimize the need for acting, trying to recite scripted dialogue, it actually works here, as the scenario is two guys who are unsure of the actual sexual interest of the other, so they move slowly, cautiously from the showing each other their dicks stage, to the touching each other's dicks stage, to the you can't stand it anymore will someone please suck that big wanger stage.

Expectations. The first scenario is two young college guys, and one remarks to the other "I hear you have a big one." Of course, this is porn, we know we're going to see it, we know there's gonna be sex. But he stretches it out to the point where you are screaming TOUCH IT, it IS big! and then SLURP IT, it IS big!; he manages to build the sexual tension, where you see the "curious" guy can't stand it anymore, and goes for the big cock. Eventually, he even asks the big-dicked guy if he can "do himself" - which he readily admits to, and demonstrates. While we all seem to dig the IDEA of self-sucking, in reality, it ain't really that sexy. No one can actually really go that far down on it, and their bodies get all distorted to the point of not looking that great, ya know. But here it's used well, which leads me to the next point.

Voyeurism. This, in my humble opinion, is THE great Joe Gage theme. Try to name a Joe Gage film that doesn't involve someone watching someone else having sex - yes, other directors use this, but Gage always does it, and always succeeds in making it hot. (Probably the most talked about Joe Gage scene is the El Paso Wrecking scene of Mike Morris and his "son" Jared Benson - most people remember this as an incest scen - but it's not! Morris (Dad) merely watches Benson (son) having sex with Fred Halsted, which of course turns Halsted on to no end, and of course us, watching Morris whack off watching his son give head to another man - but once again, I digress) The self-sucking is used well to get the "curious" guy really turned on; he's watching up close, and at points can't handle just watching, and has to get in there himself, as well. And of course, we the viewer, get a great view of two mouths on one hot cock. So it's not just us watching, but us watching the other guy watching the self-suck.

And the next scene also demonstrates the same three points well - sound is a minimum, almost all of the action has no dialogue, no actual words, just slurping and moaning (again, these guys are better at having sex than talking about it, so don't ruin it by trying to make them act). Here we start off with some older (40's or 50's) professor type stumbling upon a napping college student. We all know what this leads to - groping, jerking, and the inevitable blowjob while the kid is still sleeping. The professor has a great, expressive face - he's clearly enjoying what he's doing, while all the while looking around the room to make sure no one comes in (of course, it doesn't stop him when they do, he just gets more excited, which gets us more excited at his boldness). Now, the expectation is that at some point the kid just has to wake up, right? How long can you lie on a couch getting a blow job and stay asleep? So with this expectation in mind - what happens when he wakes? And it takes a while for this kid to wake up - his cock is pulled out; his shorts are removed, he's stroked; his pants are pulled down, he's getting blown; and two other young men enter the room, the whole while this kid is sleeping and you are giggling and the absurdity of him still sleeping - except - the payoff! Well, the moment he wakes is the moment he cums, and the look on his face as he wakes, sees the professor down in his lap and his spooge flying out simultaneously is amazing - I'm not exaggerating! And the voyeurism theme had already kicked in - just as the professor has started the blow job, one student, and a few minutes later, another comes into the room. They watch silently as the professor gets more into it. Of course they have to start stroking their own crotches, eventually pulling their cocks out, keeping their eyes on the professor, as well as each other and each inching closer to the professor, and each other, as the scene builds) - so we have these different levels of watching - the two "observers" watching the blowjob, and each other, the professor watching the guys watch him, and getting increasingly turned-on by having this chance to show off, and of course us, the guys who bought, rented, or got comped the videotape!

posted by bj at 12:52 PM

When you see me laughing, baby,
I�m laughing just to keep from crying.

I think it's safe to post this clip now, but just for today.

Meanwhile, after about 10 days of attempting to find this mp3, I finally did - Marianne Faithfull's awesome version of Trouble In Mind. I think the reason I love her version so much is that even though she sings the line - "I'm blue, but I won�t be blue always" - she sounds far from convincing.

posted by bj at 10:34 AM

The other night, sorta mindlessly watching TV, I noticed this TV news guy who looked kinda cute. You know, in that sorta preppy, sorta intelligent, let's-get-him-out-of-that-tie kinda cute, ya know? But there was something oddly familiar about his face. While he was talking, I kept staring and staring until I realized --- where-the-fuck did those eyebrows come from? They looked like someone in the make-up dept just glued them on the guy's face! And then it hit me - he's the grown-up version of Milhouse!
posted by bj at 7:05 PM

oh yeah, anyone looking for a VHS copy of HEATSTROKE (it hasn't been released on DVD yet, even though it would be FANTASTIC to have it with good quality sound, eh?) ---- please please please don't pay more than 20 bucks for it! I'm not saying its not worth it, but hell, Gage doesn't get a nickel off it anymore, and its very very easy to find online for closer to 15 bucks, not to mention its on eBay all the time. I have 2 or 3 copies (maybe 4) - cuz you gotta have back up, right?
posted by bj at 6:23 PM

(this is not an endorsement - I'll wait til I see them all shirtless)

note: HOW em-BARE-ASS-ing! Looks like Adam had this one days ago! I swear, I searched GOOGLE this morning for "HOWARD DEAN PORN" and I guess they just hadn't crawled Adam yet. (Er, his website - you know what I mean)

posted by bj at 12:45 PM

I'd love to have this book - Queer Daddy - of course, I'd also love to be the seller getting that kind of dough for it!
posted by bj at 11:58 AM

Rats! Sorry folks, had to take the clip down. I know the interent rule about "no linkage is bad linkage" - but when one of the commerical sites links to your video clip, you know you can't afford the bandwidth! I'll try to reconfigure it, so feel free to email for the new link (just don't tell anyone!)
posted by bj at 10:51 AM

HEATSTROKE

"Sorry, membership's full."

directed by: Joe Gage (1982)

Starring: Roy Garrett, Casey Donovan, Richard Locke, Clay Russell, Clinton Coe, Bud Wallace, John Steele, Richard West, and of course, The Gage Men.

My all-time favorite gay porno movie, I watched Heatstroke last Thursday night, as well as earlier today. I was gonna post that great Casey Donovan orgy/fantasy sequence with the hot, filthy monologue, but I decided to go with this scene instead. If you've been taking notes, you'll remember that in both El Paso Wrecking Corp. and L.A. Tool & Die, there's a brief scene where one of the lead character's takes on a homophobe (Halsted throws one through a window; Locke engages in a playful fist fight). In each of those, a straight guy is in a gay bar, but feels quite free to put down the queers around him. In Heatstroke, the setting is again a "gay space" but the problem isn't a str8 man, but rather, the door policy at a sex club. You know, "no fats, no fems," etc. I think it's a great sequence, with cute lil' Bob Shane as the clerk who won't let over-the-hill John Steele into the club. Rejected and dejected, Steele slowly leaves, but is joined by another rejectee, Bud Wallace (too preppy). A brief commerseration leads to, of course, hot sex! What grabs me is that not only does Gage throw in the social commentary on the emerging gay scene of the early 80's, but unlike some of his other sequences, this one isn't just a couple of guys helping each other get off, this one has real passion, including a good deal of kissing that is sometimes missing from other scenes (usually related to the specifics of the sex dynamics of the particular scene). Maybe the men are free to kiss as it's quite clear from the setting that both are gay; maybe each needs to "prove" how hot he is, to himself or his partner; or maybe the common bond of not fitting in, which you'd hope wouldn't be the case at a gay club, allows them to let loose; or maybe the two actors just were really attracted to each other, and the director was smart enough to take advantage of that - in any case, it works for me.

There's a lot more about this film that I love, like the scene where Richard Locke meets his girlfriend's ex-boyfriend, Clay Russell. Clay tries to convince Richard to have sex, which of course he does, but not before Richard remarks: "Well, I've never done anything like that before." Of course it's so funny to hear him say that, because of course by then, in 1982, it's become such a cliche' in gay porn; but it's also a hoot because it's RICHARD FUCKIN' LOCKE, star of Gage's 3 previous gay porno films (yes, Richard, you've done it numerous times before, and we loved you everytime!), not to mention that one of those times involved him having sex with, yes, Clay Russell (who can forget the hot scene in the desert in El Paso while Fred Halsted gets it on with the gas station attendant)!

posted by bj at 2:36 AM

Finally decided what I want to be when I grow up - Spacial Entrepeneur!

posted by bj at 12:28 AM

posted by bj at 3:25 PM

not a good idea

If you're feeling blue, never, ever open that folder on your hard drive that contains a handful of emails from the last ex-boyfriend. For some reason, I didn't have my "auto-save" for my emails back in 1999, so only 5 emails got saved from him. I'm not sure why I saved them. They are from a brief period when he was out of town, in Boston, visiting his family because his sister's cancer suddenly re-appeared. The first four are the sort of "she's doing better than I had expected/feared" from mid-May. The fifth, and last one saved is from the first week of June, when he went back up to Boston for her funeral.

It's just so strange to re-read these, feel the sadness, the helplessness of that time. And of course, knowing where the story goes after that. The next three weeks were him vascillating from quiet neediness to growing distancing from me. Both seemed quite normal and appropriate; so when he broke up with me by the end of June, it was, and wasn't, expected.

Oh, another thing, if you plan on re-reading those handful of emails form your last ex-boyfriend, Disc 2 of Marianne Faithfull's Perfect Stranger is perfect. Just make sure you hide the razor blades and kitchen knives.

posted by bj at 5:07 PM

I never realized what a babyface Dean Coulter has. Not to mention that his head could easily fit inside his armpit. But he is so much prettier than his sister, Ann Coulter.

posted by bj at 11:44 AM

Celluloid Skyline
posted by bj at 5:04 PM

I love this picture of Val Martin. It's from Drummer, and if I remember correctly, he's getting painted for a cover photoshoot for the magazine for one of it's earliest issues, I think their first four-color issue (if you have it, give it to me). But what I like about this one is that it's probably the only one I've ever seen of him with no "gear" on. Not that he doesn't look great in gear - believe me, I've had him as my monitor's wallpaper more than once - but it's sort of like "Val Martin, unplugged." He's got an amazing face, and of course his slim muscular body always looks great. But here, something about the angle makes him look just a bit smaller, a bit less unapproachable; and yet still mysterious enough to let you go have your fantasies.

Speaking of fantasies, I don't think I ever finished the "trying to talk to BurritoMan" story from last week. There isn't much more to tell, actually. I stumbled through trying to make conversation as I got his bag of food ready, taking his money, giving him change. When I got off the phone and said a proper hello, I mentioned what a crazy night it had been. Our eyes met as he said, in this sweet ernestness, "Awww, I'm sorry, man." It may sound silly, but there was something about this simple moment, this stranger in his calm reassuring voice sounding like he genuinely cared about my day being crazy. I muttered something about how he should come by some night when I get off, maybe go for a beer. Believe it or not, I have NO IDEA WHAT HE SAID after that! I'm fairly sure it wasn't a refusal, but I don't remember a "sure" or "cool, let's do it" or anything! I do remember that he smiled, and he was trying to put his food in his shoulder bag, struggling a bit, actually. I stuttered over trying to make a joke - "well, you have my number" meaning he had my work number. I made some lame comment about liking his bike; the phone rang, I answered it but put the person on hold, looking back up at him as he was getting ready to leave. He reached over the counter with one arm, to shake my hand, and we did. Again, I have NO IDEA WHAT HE SAID! Nothing remarkable about the handshake, except that it was really our first and only physical contact (no, I don't count putting his $1.31 change into his hand once every week or two as physical contact), and he did it somewhat awkwardly, which of course made it better. Not until after he left did I realize that I never told him my name - and he might not ever have read it off the receipt I leave in his bag. Well, here's hoping he's hungry for a burrito again this week.

It's funny how I can't get the "Awww, I'm sorry, man" out of my head. The past few months of just being a big mope, shunning people I know, feeling sorry for myself; the idea of having someone to just hold on to me, a few words might be exchanged, but having the physical contact of being held, and holding, and finally relaxing, maybe even let out a nice long cry. (No, I wouldn't do it on a first date...... well, probably not.) Late last night, snuggling up here in the bed in my white cotton unionsuit (it's been fuckin' cold here, man!), all grumpy and inert about just about everything in my life, that phrase came into my head, I imagined this guy was here, in my arms, and there was this like 10 minutes of reprieve from it all. Just imagining the simpleist things together - making dinner, watching tv, cuddling up...... just the chance to start over with a new person, sorta re-create myself, getting rid of some of the cruddieness, being reminded of some of the cool stuff that's buried somewhere inside of me. And it has to be physical, ya know. I don't mean that in a sexual way, I mean that in a here and now and in my face and arms and in my home kinda way. Discovering each other, rediscovering myself. I'm babbling.

posted by bj at 11:17 PM

posted by bj at 11:43 PM

HOMOSEXUALS IN REVOLT

Last week's news of a certain popstar getting hitched, then the quick annulment of the marriage seemed to really grab the attention of those gay-marriage advocates! While I don't foresee any minds being changed on the issue by her actions --- I sure would love to see us gay folks paying a little less attention to what celebritneys are doing, and a bit more to what average gay joes and josephines are doing.

In case you're wondering, the pic to the left is from LIFE Magazine's The Year in Pictures 1971 issue. There's another picture showing the "zap" of the New York City Clerk's office - when supporters of homosexual marriage appeared with a wedding cake and coffee to protest the clerk's refusal to issue marriage licenses to gay couples.

posted by bj at 1:59 PM

I suppose it's a compliment when folks remember stuff you wrote many months ago, and ask nicely for you to deliver on the promise. Wait! I didn't actually promise to show the other clip - phewwwww! So we'll just leave it with this still pic from BJ GETS WET.

posted by bj at 12:59 PM

Some of you folks may know that I have had plenty of trouble with my pals at eBay for selling ADULT ITEMS in their ADULT SECTION - which oddly enough doesn't make me angry and bitter that a good number of these magazine listings are for gay male porno, sold in the regular, non-adult, non-restricted listings. But feel free to browse, you might just find a bargain (I have). Or, how 'bout an overpriced issue of FRESHMEN?
posted by bj at 12:22 PM

So, fifteen minutes after BurritoMan leaves the restaurant last night, I realize - IT'S TUESDAY! - his routine is Wednesdays... and on occasion Mondays, so what the heck....?

It was a hellish night at work, for some reason the to-go cook decided to close down around 8:15, just as the dinner rush is kicking in. Delivery guys are yelling at me, I eventually get the manager's attention, the phone is ringing off the hook, within 20 minutes the kitchen seems to be back to normal, but the "where's my order" calls start coming in. In the middle of all this, my co-worker has to run to the bathroom, I'm answering the phones, packing bags, and taking orders at the counter. I answer the phone, and I hear "Hey man, I'd like to place a pick-up order" - I think it's him, but it's too crazy to take his order at that second, so i say HOLD PLEASE, and place the phone on the counter so no one else picks up the call. When I get back to the call, "What can I get for you today?" of course it's chicken, black, guac, and hot sauce. Something in my head forces out "Is this E___?" remembering his name from about 6 weeks ago when I first got the nerve to ask for it, but never actually used it. "yeah, man" Gosh I love when he says that. I just need to ask the right question next time (hehe). So I tell him "a bit crazy in here at the moment, but we'll see you in about 10-15 minutes, ok?". So I laid the groundwork, he knows I remember him, and his name, and and, um.... oh yeah, he says "Cool, man, see you then."

For some odd reason, when he gets there in 12 minutes (what, like I wasn't counting the minutes??) I have no co-workers around me, I'm on the phone taking an order, he walks in, I smile as big as I can without looking like a lunatic, he wheels in a bike, which I don't remember ever seeing before, he approaches the counter, I'm trying to keep some eye contact while focusing on the computer screen and someone's desire for delicious Mexican food served hot and with enthusiasm. Oh, this hand is free, I'll wave. Why am I waving at him? He's all of 2 feet away, I stop waving, I finish the call, hang up. "Hey, man."

posted by bj at 5:17 PM

New Year's Resolutions For Roommates

How lame are New Year's Resolutions, anyway? I'm still working on my solo (I think I mean sole, but as it turns out, boo-hoo, it's also solo) resolution (ewwwwwww! lube on the keyboard!) as I write this. But I was thinking that vowing to lose weight, slowing down on drinking and anonymous sex, bringing down my credit card debt, and being kinder to strangers were things that wouldn't last much past February. What might prove more interesting would be if those of us who live in these tiny 3-room Manhattan apartments tried to make our miserable living conditions a bit more, ya know, livable - by giving the roommates a few tips on how to be better housemates.

No more cologne! Egad! Why do you have to douse yourself with that stinky shit everytime you take a shower?? If you really think that pouring bluish-green elixir on your body helps your sexlife, do it after you have left the building, preferably on the other side of the street.

Dirty Dishes! The bottoms of dishes get dirty, too. Also, when you see a sinkful of dishes, how 'bout washing ALL of them, instead of sorting thru the ones you think you used, and setting aside the ones you think I've used.

Vacuuming and mopping! I know I showed you where the vacuum and the mop were when you moved in. Ever notice that clean, bleachy smell when you get home from work? It comes from this bottle, right here under the sink next to the recyclables that you never put out on recycling day, which, by the way, is every Thursday. And those hairballs on the bathroom floor arent coming only from my pubes, ya know!

CELL PHONE! I realize it's your lifeline to the outside world, but can you refrain from entering the apartment while chatting loudly on the cell with your pals about what you and your pals just did together 15 minutes prior???!!

TV and VCR! OK, I know you dont have a TV, and I shouldn't complain when I'm not even home and you use my set - but please please pllllllease! when borrowing the porno, don't leave it in the VCR so that when I get home from a hard day's work of pushing burritos and mindlessly turn the tube on, I get to see exactly which sexscene made you pop your load! EWWWWWWW!

posted by bj at 1:51 PM

"the two men met in the back of a book store..."

Is it just me, or is this paragraph from the New York Times kinda, er, .........

"The relationship with Mr. Bradley started long before Dr. Dean's campaign, back around Thanksgiving of 1999. At Dr. Dean's request, the two men met in the back of a book store at the Willowbrook Mall in Wayne, N.J. Though Dr. Dean eventually endorsed Mr. Gore in the 2000 race, he called Mr. Bradley again in late 2002 and, aides say, has done so every six weeks or so since."

Kinda makes you wonder what happened in the back of that book store, doesn't it?

posted by bj at 2:16 AM

I love this still from one of my all-time fave porn flicks, Steve Scott's WANTED. Speaking of Bijou Video (for those of you paying attention, that's where I grew up, at the Bijou Theatre in Chicago. Once I turned 18, it was legal to see porno flicks, and I quickly became addicted to this place. Still around, and now one of THE places to find vintage porno videos....... but I digress again...) Where was I? Oh, this past weekend I was able to help someone locate a porn flick he appeared in many years ago!

The other night I got a cool email from a guy thanking me for my page on Arthur J. Bressan, Jr. Turns out he (Robert Adams) starred in two of Bressan's early films, Passing Strangers (1974), and Forbidden Letters (1976). Of course I was very excited to hear from him, and wrote back right away. After a few emails back and forth, he said he was in just one other porno flick, "it was called "Do Me Evil" directed by, oh man, I can't remember, but he wasn't on your list. Toby Someone?" Well, you know me, I quickly got to work. Of course I knew he meant Toby Ross, did my Googling, and found the Bijou Video page for Do Me Evil with the video, a few stills, and even a brief film clip. Needless to say, he was excited to get the info, and I even think he's ordering the tape. The next day, he writes and says searching the Bijou data base, he found a great pic of himself with Richard Locke from Forbidden Letters. I then searched my own archives of stills, as I remembered I had posted a clip from Passing Strangers a while back - the only one I had of Mr. Adams was the one to the right here, and I sent it to him, hoping he wouldn't be offended that it was just a dick shot (from the trippy hippies jumping-up-and-down scene). Fortunately, he liked it.

OK, guys, time to take my last few sips of coffee, brush my teeth, and get some chores done.

posted by bj at 1:37 PM

Owwww. i'm sick; but in that murky not-really-sure-what's-wrong way. Earache, headache, awful churning burpy tummy. I think I have multiple little annoyances happening simultaneously. So of course, I get a phone call from some guy I gave my phone number to about 2 weeks ago, asking to go out for a drink. The answering machine got his message, so I have yet to actually talk to him. Yuck. I mean, I feel yucky, and don't exactly want to blow him off, but don't want to be a crab-ass and tell him I feel yucky-sick. He's only visiting his parents this week on his way back from Brazil (going back to Paris, I think). He's a big boy, furry, and from what I remember, had a hefty, pretty piece of uncut meat. Shame I have no appetitie for meat, or anything else, at the moment. sigh.
posted by bj at 3:28 PM

So, my Saturday night was working on one of my New Year's Resolutions - making friends with lube. I figured that I am probably missing out on some good sex at the local sex club, cuz I have this bad habit of screeching EEEWWWWWWW! anytime someone grabs my thing with a handful of lube, or I stick my face in a buttful of the stuff. Also, in the unlikely event that I ever have a date, and we get to the sex stage, and the guy is interested in sticking his thingee in my hothairyhole... once again, my gut reaction - EEEWWWWWWW! - to the sight or feel of lube might not be the best way to begin to build a lasting and loving relationship.

I figured I'd start off slow, and just grabbed these sample lube packets out of my drawer (the condoms are in there, too, and I have until May 'til they expire). I popped in a BULLET VIDEOPAC (Target Studios films from the 70's), ripped open the packet, put a few drops you-know-where, stroked a bit, needed more, saw the rest of the packet had leaked onto the bed, tried squeezing out some more, and the videotape featuring the hot Rod Mitchell got me distracted enough that I didn't care.

Well, it wasn't awful, I admit. In fact, I have to say its nice to have a scentless lube - it doesn't interfere with the smell of fresh cum, even if it was just my own. I wound up using up another little packet later, (and another Bullet Videopac, this time with Rod and Bruno) and tried again later in the night. Wasn't bad falling asleep with spunk all over the bed, and me.

posted by bj at 7:35 PM

Did I mention scoring these classics a few weeks back? Yes, life can be good from time to time. Here's to scoring more good stuff in 2004!

posted by bj at 10:31 AM

posted by bj at 1:24 PM

clean underwear

posted by bj at 3:34 PM