bj's gay porno-crazed ramblings

Tuesday, April 30, 2002









Working on posting a clip from L.A. Tool & Die - Joe Gage's 3rd film (1979). It's the scene with Richard Locke in the bathroom with the straight guy who's only at this gay bar to pick up a pay-off for some mobster. For the "trilogy", Gage gave Locke a lot of leeway in how to do his part, and listened to a lot of Locke's suggestions - I'm sure the line - " If there's anything I like better than sucking cock, it's kicking ass" must have come from Locke. So I'll work on getting that clip up here later (but, the usual "rules" apply - I can only host it for 24-48 hours before I have to pay more for bandwidth, so it won't be up long).









Monday, April 29, 2002

I was actually looking for a different picture, from 1974, but this one from 1977 is a decent enough diversion. Many many many years ago, I was arrested by the Chicago Police. It was the typical scenario with my parents, most notably my father. When he came to the precinct to pick me up, he screamed and yelled at the cops for treating his son so poorly (one of my hands was handcuffed to the wall); but once we got in the car, he screamed and yelled at me. Once we got home, after a quick family meeting about my arrest, and troubles my older brothers had with the local cops, my parents went upstairs to yell at each other about how each was responsible. Meanwhile, my four siblings and I went to the basement to do bong hits while I gave them all the details of my marijuana arrest. Undercover cops grabbed me when I was going to a friend's house, asked me a bunch of questions, confused me with one of my older brothers who was always drinking beer in the local park, searched me, found some skinny joints, and shoved me in the back seat of their car. Some hours later, in a cell, I found a small roach (for you non-druggies, that's the small remnant of a joint that us hardcore addicts save in case of emergency) in my pocket, and lit up in the cell. No buzz, but it made the "real" criminals laugh. Ahhhhhh, youth! (looking at the picture, it's funny to see how the glare seems to form this "D" on my forehead - "druggie"? "derelict"?)



Sunday, April 28, 2002
This is cool - google search for Porn Star Richard Locke gives you THREE of my porno pages! yeah! I really should add some stuff from his book LOCKE OUT The Collected Writings of Richard Locke, but I'm sooooooooo exhausted. I do hope to clear out more of my own pics from the site, and add more "professional" pornographers like Locke, Wrangler, Al Parker's work as a director and producer, etc, when I get some time.



How 'bout that - Now I'll be having a pre-SIMPSONS marguerita at 6:30 at Bennie's on Ave A. Be there or be square!



yesterday was a decent day. Mailed a bunch of stuff out, bought some more porn (actually, 2 or 3 "keepers" - One I hadn't realized was old, either 1981 or 1973, from Jaguar Films, the other, American Cream I can't believe I got an older, early 80's copy, - the film itslef is from the early 70's - but I haven't had a chance to check it's quality yet) - did mostly nothing but some light cleaning up, readying porn auctions, and late ight tv and binge-eating.

Rained most of the night, which occasionally woke me long enough for me to locate a brownie, microwave it, eat it, then fall back asleep. Got out of bed and made coffee at 7 a.m., and by noon I had already taken 2 more naps. Today is low-key day. Need to focus on finances - I may actually be able to pull off paying my bills this month from my eBay porn sales - I've been working my ass off on it, and for the time being anyway, it seems to be paying off. Want to catch up on some non-business emails, although I have managed to dlete practically EVERY one of thos stupid virus emails that are going around - the ones that say IE 6.0 patch or Worm Klex.E Immunity - stupid shit like that. Ooh, and I've been in the bestest mood for a few days now - yesterday I spent a few hours downloading, listening to, and singing Donovan songs - gosh what a great voice - a pal of mine insisted Sunny Goodge Street is one of his best, and he's right - I find myself humming it constantly, while out riding my bike, in the shower........ another great one, more upbeat, is Hey Gyp (Dig the Slowness).




Saturday, April 27, 2002
While I've been up for almost 2 hours, and I'm on my 3rd cup of coffee, not sure I can actually communicate. But here goes anyway.

Yesterday was a fantastic day! While I always love going to the Bronx Zoo, it's even more fun when you can take someone, and show him around. And not just anybody, but ANDY, who's very cool, very fun, and, well.... let's just say it was a great day, lots of exercise (the place is HUGE!), perrrrrrrrrrrrrfect weather (low 60's a decent amount of sun), some of the bestest animals - several baby gorillas; we caught the zebras nice and early, grazing and whinnying; we even ventured into the very scarey children's zoo cuz I had to see lemurs (but those parents can be real terrors, you know?)- oh gosh, and they had a ton of domesticated animals for kids to pet, but a lot of them were real scarey - like from that SIMPSONS Tomacco epsiode, they looked crazed!. I think I'd like to try the Brooklyn Botanical gardens soon, and hop over to the tiny, but fun, Brooklyn Zoo across the street (geared mostly to children, but hell, aminals are aminals...)

And since I took yesterday off from posting PORN AUCTIONS, I've got a lot of catching up to do - friggin' rent, etc is due any day now! I seem to have got a bunch of videos that specialize in UNCUT MEN, including two by a guy named LUCKY LUC - Frenchman who pornformed, and "directed" (picking up guys on the street, and videotaping himself doing them) several in the early 90's - oh yeah, and SOUL & SALSA 2 - wonder what kind of men are in that film?




Friday, April 26, 2002

at the zoo



Thursday, April 25, 2002
Looks like someone is busy MASTERING HIS DOMAIN - congrats on the move, man!



Love For Sale - I totally love love love this version, stripped down Elvis C, raw voice (probably from too much drinking), recorded in 1981, I think, with Spanish guitar by Billy Bremner from Rockpile.





I'm very excited about taking the day off and heading uptown tomorrow. There are few places I will gladly go to that require not only leaving the neighborhood, but also taking the subway; but I just love The Bronx Zoo. I haven't been there since a few days before Christmas (I bought tons of fun Xmas presents) and I'm taking a pal and myself on my Family Plus membership (little does he know, he'll have to pretend to be my husband, but I'll wait til we're already on the train to break the news), and I'm pretty sure I still have coupons for Congo Gorilla Forest, as well as our choice of the Children's Zoo (that's where they keep the lemurs), or the Bengali Express (just a ride around the park, but sure beats the Skyfari, I'm afraid of heights). It's raining and rather cold out today, but tomorrow should warm up a bit, and have some sun - which will be fantastic, as the Zoo is perfect in the spring, with all the flora and fauna (like I know which one is plants, and which one is animals) blooming (do animals bloom?) I love walking all the way up to the far NorthWest corner of the park, where few people go, and there's Ostriches and Emus and other assorted relatives, and I think the Pelicans (or some waterfowl with a big beak) return to the North End around this time of year, too. Congo Gorilla Forest is fun, but the enclosed portions can be a bit too noisy, as folks (mostly parents) are saying stupid things loudly at the animals to get them to perform; but I really dig the RainForest - it's enclosed, and a great spot to go in the winter, when few people are up there, and its all warm and humid inside......... ahhhhhhh. I'll be sure to bring plenty of film, but I have like rolls and rolls of giraffe pics, and I'm sure they're tired of smiling for me.







Wednesday, April 24, 2002
Need to clean out a lot of pages - so, take your last look, cuz A FEW EBAY BOYS and MORE EBAY BOYS are gonna be gone by Friday.




Bartender: "He's on his 3rd beer, and I heard he has guacamole, salsa and chips for when he gets home."
Construction Guy: "O.K., I'll see if I can get one of my guys out there in the morning with a truck."
Bartender: "Now they're smoking pot."
Consturction Guy: "Gotcha. He'll definately have a hangover. I'll make sure my guy gets there early with a real noisy truck."



Tuesday, April 23, 2002
What did I say about posting twice before 10:30? So no strange "inside" jokes from me, just to let you know that not only does strangefroot have a cool redesign, but his posts are alot more interesting than "sorry I didnt blog today" - especially 4/22's post on South Africa's NIA ( I would guess its like our FBI?)



ok. so I will never post TWICE before 10:30 in the morning again - that last one was an inside joke (like, er, inside my own head). So lemme find that Batdude clip...........

Bat Dude and Throbin - The Sexx Capaders (1989) starring Beau Beaumont (his real name, no doubt) - director's name escapes me. It's definately NOT the kind of film to watch if you need/want to get your rocks off - BUT - it is so corny, that I would still recommend it for all it's silliness - the Joker is called "The Poker" in this take-off, etc.
oh yeah, shameless plea for email - if you wanna see more before I auction this off, lemme know.




Monday, April 22, 2002
Don't Worry Mr Green - No, I don't think I will kiss you. Although you need kissing badly. That's what's wrong with you. You should be kissed, and often. And by someone who knows how.




Good morning. The pic is old, maybe 2 years ago, I was curious if I could set the timer, run out on the fire escape, and get a decent shot with some snow in the background. (I'm sure those boxer-briefs are long gone, too!) And since it's only snowed all of about 1/4 inch in the past 12 months, I just wanted a little reminder of what the stuff looks like. Actually, now that I think of it, this must've been taken more than 2 years ago, ealry 2000, when I was still working and took a day off, thinking the weather was too beautiful to be cooped up in that hellish place.

Today it's really too early to be up, but the rain woke me. A few more sips of coffee, and I'm crawling back under the covers. I think I have an appointment late this afternoon about helping someone set up an eBay account in order to sell stuff for their non-profit. That would actually be cool - but I think I need to give it some more thought, take some notes before I head over there so that I can give the illusion that I actually know what I am talking about.




Sunday, April 21, 2002

The Hair Project

...........mmmmm Armyman01 - when's the next flight to ARKANSAS?? Actually, the 7 armpit galleries are my favorite - and Eric Evans with his tongue in his right pit???? talented hairy man, he is!




Saturday, April 20, 2002
Beautiful rainy spring day. Did my post office and porno runs already. Today I bought a box of BG Enterprise and BG East Wrestling tapes ( I don't fully know the story of when it was one company, and how/when they broke into 2 separtate companies - both have websites now). That's gonna be a lot of work, but I think some of them are out-of-print tapes, so it should be worth it. I noticed a few cassettes even had 3x5 photos of the wrestlers (man that one guy gets EXCITED when he's wrestling!!). A few weeks back, I got 5 or 6 in one deal, and one of the tapes had an older box, with a BG logo and address printed/stamped on an otherwise plain white box. I thought of keeping the packaging, and just selling the tape without it, but I thought it's better to have the "lucky winner" of the auction get it. My odd ethics on this came back at me - last week I bought some porno, and another cool B G Enterprise white video cassette sleeve came up, but not with a BG tape, but some other unrelated tape. So I feel it's cool to keep that one. I did scan the old one, (oh, there it is). Rent is due in 10 days, so I gotta try to really focus on churning out some auctions this weekend . Soooooo, if any big-dicked guys with hairy balls wanna stop by and give me a few minutes break, it's much appreciated.



Friday, April 19, 2002
wild mood swings

ok, so its Friday night, I'm a not-so-shabby looking single man in Manhattan (the Center of the Universe, but you knew that) and I'm watching Ice Road Truckers on the History Channel and I'm actually in a very good mood.






The video is called Close Shave and is your run-of-the-mill Solo Guys Shaving Their Crotches and Jerking Off feature. So, readying it for auction, I was rather surprised to see the last vignette wasn't quite a solo. The music is actually pretty good for porno, but, alas, somehow - oh, draw your own conclusions.



Thursday, April 18, 2002

ok, ok, ok, this new publicity pic is just too spooky - NO, this isn't LIVE JOURNAL, so I'll go away now and play with my elvis collection, but not til you hear the song that used to be my EXIT song at The Bar in the early 80's - see, in my early 20's, I'd hang out there alot, and at some point I decided that no matter what if Elvis's Shipbuilding, played on the jukebox (damn that used to be such a great jukebox!) I would go home before the last few notes played. Silly, yeah, but it is a great exit song...(not that anyone would be watching, but I would then hum the song on the walk home up 2nd Ave.)

with all the will in the world,
diving for dear life,
when we could be diving for pearls




woah! - and throwing in a few ABBA lyrics???



........is Elvis Costello sampling Grace Slick from White Rabbit on his new song - When I was Cruel????
wow!




Pre-Bjork, there was Elvis. In high school, just because he was supposed to be the next big thing, we bought tickets when the Armed Forces tour came through Chicago. Of course, I thought his name was stupid, and at age 18, the idea was just an excuse to go hang out with frineds and smoke pot; but, I knew I ought to spend the $4.99 on the album just to check it out. Woah! It's actually hard to remember just how astonishing it was those first few times that album spun on my stereo; for the next 10-12 years, Elvis was practically a daily part of life. Each album coincides with very specific memories. Get Happy was an album playing over and over while I taught a freshman girl how to get the most out of smoking a pipe; Taking Liberties was a gift from a college pal who had a not-so-secret crush on me (a girl, alas!); Punch the Clock was my first summer in New York; Imperial Bedroom was when I had a crush on an older transfer student, alas, a str8 man - but he was nice about it, and we managed a nice friendship anyway, somehow because of our mutual love of that album. Several times over the years folks would tell me I looked like Elvis, which always made me laugh. I never considered him to be a handsome man, but that didn't matter, his voice, and music were fantastic - but, funny, when I look at the cover of King of America, I can finally see the resemblance. I've had a beard off and on, and the glasses, and that blob of a nose.

Gosh, I cant f**kin' believe I was only 25 when that album came out! Pre-gradschool, living in a crappy lower east side apartment, seems like 3, not 16, years ago. Most of these songs get me singing, and singing loud (watch out neighbors, the disc is on now) - thankfully there are some upbeat tunes, as I'm in a familiar sad mood since last night. I managed to go out around 12:30, scarfed down 1/2 a beer before I realized I just wasn't up for the staring at this or that cuteguy until I was too drunk to communicate - but really wanted an all-night sit and talk and giggle and smooch kinda night. It's been a very very very long time since I've been in my, or anyone's, bed and did just that. You know, where you're comfortable enough not to worry about the sexthing, and can relax and just be. Just look at his face, exchange stories, kiss, laugh, snuggle, nibble, you know. Sometimes I'm amazed at the differing types that I can imagine doing that with - but then I realize they're not really that different - it's the face, and mostly the eyes. I often talk about the facial hair / body hair attraction, and while on the surface that's true, I find that if I look at your face and get that "I wanna see your handsome face in 30 years, and I know I'll love it then, too" feeling, then I'm hooked. Granted, that happened 3 times last week at the Post Office. But, alas, it's happened in other circumstances, and I find I am paralyzed. It's that "I know I'll come on too strong, don't ruin it" mood that turns into intense inertia. Very intense. That - "maybe I shoulda done this" and "maybe I shoulda done that" - grrrrrrrr.

ok, I give. I'm sure its just waking up 3 days in a row in APRIL in a pool of sweat in 80 degree weather.


The soldier asked my name and did I come here very often
Well I thought that he was asking me to dance
In my holy coat and hat and him in his red bonnet
We'd have made a lovely couple but we never had the chance

And now you say that you've got to go
Well if you must you must
I suppose that you need the sleep of the just




Wednesday, April 17, 2002

besides last night's cutie pie who I shared the small room with (but who fled before I could hand over my house keys and ATM card). 2 other reasons why yesterday was a fantastic day. Coolest cap ever from a pal, and bestest book ever from another pal. (here ya go, Mr Married Man from the southwest - pictures - since reading seems to not quite grab you in quite the right way).




grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr - and NO ONE told me the TROPICAL HEATWAVE link below wasn't working! grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
still in the 80's this morning, I guess it'll work for today as well.

last night, rode around a bit, didn't feel like going to a smokey bar, so I ventured to the Bijou for some exercise (they say pacing is very good for the legs). 2-1/2 hours later, I'm at the Key Food, waiting in this ridiculously long line for 2 a.m., and in the flattering fluorescent lighting, I see on my dago-tee several large drops (drops is an understatement) from the uncut gentleman of 15 minutes prior. In fact, several hairs from his big floppyness were stuck there, too. I'm holding 2 pints of Haagen Daz, a bag of chips, and wondering if the clerk will notice. Naw, too busy, he apologizes for the long line, smiles, rings up my stuff, gives me my change, and I swear he looked at my chest and smiled again. I'm sure I'm mistaken. Needless to say, I slept in that shirt




Tuesday, April 16, 2002
my god! it's 11:30 at night in APRIL!!!!!, and the temperature is finally down to 80 degrees - midnight bikeride! - maybe i can pick up something cool whilst I 'm out.



We're having a heat wave, A tropical heat wave.........



last night BJ saved my mustache
"Hi BJ,

Just thought I'd let you know. You saved my mustache ... for now anyway. I was thinking of shaving it off. I've had it a long time. But I was reading thru your "blog" ... which I enjoy reading now and then ... it's been a while ... and anyway, read about that guy with the mustache who hung around with Gorbachev ... I think he is an interpreter. And I thought I was the only one who found him sexy. Anyway, after reading that, I decided to keep my mustache."




Monday, April 15, 2002
My name is BJ, and I'm a pornaholic
no really. it's starting to scare me. I'm having an up and down wild mood-swing kinda week, and this morning I got my lazy ass out of the apartment early to ship some stuff (8 boxes of porn-related items), and I knew it would be a long line, so I got the walkdiscthing with me. Ever find yerself in public, listening to a great disc, thinking about yer life and where you are with it, and then Joan Armatrading's Love and Affection comes on, and you really can't fight back the tears? And you quietly keep your place, hoping the tears don't seep down below the eyeglass line? oh right, me neither.

Anyway, eventually I got to the front of the line, had my usual chitchat with the postal clerk, then came home, plugged in some porn in order to make sure the tapes work before listing on eBay, then knew I had to get out and enjoy some of the beautiful weather. Got a fantastic fresh lemonade over on Ave A, sat in the park, and then, 6 p.m. rolls around and I ride my bike over for my bi-, sometimes tri-weekly porn-run. The clerk is so nice, lets me look through a box of unmarked stuff, knowing I know their pricing structure, and will honestly give him a total based on it. So, I find a corner to look thru the stuff, open the single box he handed me (he apologizes that there's no big color-boxes, like Falcon types) and as I open it, my heart stops, then speeds up - BOY-NAPPED! in the original 1983 small video box from Quality X, which handled the videos for HAND IN HAND FILMS, which was founded by Jack Deveau in 1972. This is the film where Dennis Parker, who you may remember form his stint on The Edge of Night, or his disco album with New York By Night, is kidnapped and "brutalized" by Jamie Wingo - anyway, it's hard to find, and nearly impossible to find in the un-censored version. Sweat appears on my forehead, my hands shake, and I find 3 other Quality X HAND IN HAND FILMS videotapes, plus 2 Joe Gage tapes in the original mid 80's TMX boxes!! Yeah YEAH YEAH!!

it's scarey! I race home to check the tapes, and I can't go thru them all right now, but the end of BOY-NAPPED! has a fist-f**king scene, and it's intact! I 'm not excited by the scene per se, its just great to get the film the way the director intended (and its not a pleasant scene, the guy is harsh... but I don't want to give away the ending...) And the Gage tapes? Well, I have both of them already, in fact 2 copies of each before this recent addition, but.... old boxes, full-version, blah blah blah. And yes, i am ELATED! I am sooo happy, like someone gave me a hit of X (not that I'd know what that was like) ~~~~~~~~~ totally content, and completely unconcerned with all the current issues in my life.... where's that remote?




hmmmmm. unemployed lazy porno-selling blogger checks his referral logs 15 times a day, and today thinks - well - someone seems to like the cockring pics directory of mine - and since I am too lazy to figure out how to make it unaccessible - sure, you wanna look at a variety of cockrings, some wrapped around me (and that one uncut pal who has yet to return for his 2nd "fashion shoot") - sure, go for it.



Sunday, April 14, 2002


There's no such thing as bad publicity, eh? Just not sure that Quimbo's "gross me out" is quite the kind I'm looking for, though.



hung

over


it's too bad, cuz it looks like a nice day out there; birds a-chirpin', sun a-shinin'..... potato chip bag flung on the floor, oops, ice cream drops...... grrrrrr, i"m such a pig! Ok, some more coffee, wash my face, and then take down those porn-movie clips so I can post new one(s) during the week........



Saturday, April 13, 2002

Hello Jesus
Jesus children
Jesus loves you
Jesus children
Hello children Jesus loves you of America


beautiful morning calls for a beautiful song - Jesus Children of America




Friday, April 12, 2002
ok, so i was too lazy to participate in burnbabyburn; but nontheless am fortunate enough today to be enjoying pucker up! from Mr Swish - but not til track #3 did I get why the cover art was a picture of a hairy ass!




I love how he just casually slips it in
..... "I even posed in the raw for a national magazine"; but I have checked EVERYFRIGGIN' issue of National Geographic, and I can't find it!



In Matt Sterling's "Brentwood Classic" ERECTION SET, (1970's, 8MM film), we have 2 construction workers taking their lunch break while working on a highrise in Manhattan. Play the 15 second clip by clicking either pic, and guess what happens next -

a) they discuss the importance of pottasium in the diet
b) the banana peal is dropped, and unfortuantely the other guy doesn't see it, slips on it, and falls 54 stories to his death; or
c) they are joined by a 3rd construction worker for hot s**king, f**king, and r**ming.




Thursday, April 11, 2002
******** OMI PALONI ********
Saturday April 13, 2002

11:30 PM --- BAR 169
169 EAST BROADWAY @ ESSEX ST.
no cover !!! cheap booze

tell your friends
DJ Jeff Jackson
new way beats vs disco treats

um, since I have no friends......oh gee, that sounds pitiful - since all my freinds are "involved" - oh screw that train of thought....whatever.... I'm actually hoping to get my sorry ass out of the house on a Saturday night and enjoy a cheap night out; thankfully it's still the lower east side, and the deejay has excellent taste (in music anyway) ....... and a special thanks to the EAST part of EAST/WEST for putting Jeffy's party on Kory's Krazy Kalendar ( and no, I'm not touching the KKK thing, either)




The Big One

1988, produced by Scott Masters, directed by Chet Thomas, and of course music by Costello Presley, this one not only has a plot, but also special effects. The basic storyline is that while our hero Brian Adams is doing his nightly newscast, an earthquake hits southern California. Needless to say, despite falling debris, sirens, and stuck elevators, the men in the movie get horny and must have sex. Hairy Kurt Bauer (who you may remember as the model in the "Dress For the Occassion" Safe Sex ad campaign) is passed out under some rubble when he is rescued by Brad Richardson, but, of course, once he's revived, he must have sex. Brian Adams saves a a stage hand who falls, and once caught, they must have sex. And good ol' Sparky O'Toole (not to be confused with that other Sparky); no, this is the Sparky O'Toole who you may remember from such other films as Orgy At The Fun House, Larger Than Life, My Brother, My Lover, Peter Eater , and of course Sparky O'Toole's Excellent Adventure - which he also directed. Well, as you may remember from a week or two ago, I had another porn movie clip, with AL Parker and Jack Wrangler, and since I only got like exactly ONE comment on that, I figured, why show porn clips with actual sex, let's just go for porno clips with quality writing and acting. So, here ya go, Sparky O'Toole and Clark Lindsay stuck in an elevator during The Big One.



Wednesday, April 10, 2002
sideways smile always helps
Hey, just got your message. I'm going to the gym after work - which at this point won't be for another hour - and then might be going for a drink later. I'm sorry I haven't called in a while; it's been very crazy for me. Not only work, but these darn dates.......; )

oh, I don't feel bad that EVERYFUCKINBODY that I know is now dating; I just got one of those sideways winky smiley faces in the email, so I'm fine, just fine.




MY! The dog-run sure smells good!
I've realized the source of my recent surge of happiness. It's this intense sense of denial. Denial about what a sorry state my life is in. I mean, I haven't had a job in years, the credit cards are maxed out, i got 27 cents in interest on my savings account for the last quarter - i havne't a clue how rent, student loans, etc will get paid May 1st. I have low self-esteem ( that tattoo boy from last Monday night? I've seen him around 3 times since, I've only had the balls to say "hey" once). But after I wake up, wait for the coffee to brew, clean up the junk food mess from a few hours earlier, log onto this machine, and wisely I put on music instead of the t.v. Today again I was reliving my lovely youth, and I was in tears listening to Heaven Is Ten Zillion Light Years Away, another fantastic song from 1974, my last year of grade school, and onto the scarey world of a high school within a few months.

Now, lest you get the wrong idea, our pop song singing in church once a week wasn't exactly some BOSTON PUBLIC episode, with souful angelic choirs singing perfect harmoines - we were sleepy kids sitting on hard pews trying not to let the nuns catch us goofing round or nodding off. But still, the class time picking and rehearsing the songs was great, and perhaps more important, the memory of it keeps me from having too many knee-jerk reactions to most things CATHOLIC. I have enough personal stories with cool nuns, fantastic lay teachers, and yes, a handful of Jesuits to keep in mind the "real" meaning for those people of faith - making whatever little difference in improving the lives of the folks around them. If you really listen to that Stevie Wonder song, you hear the searching for answers, the questioning of what does "GOD" mean, why does he let all this shit happen, etc etc etc.... but the lines "Where is my God?" - He lives inside of me is the part that reminds me of my own responsibility to myself, and the rest of the world, to do the little things that might make a difference - a smile, a hug, free porno, the occasional insight; the catalysts that unknowingly might make someone's day a little better, and they in turn make someone else's day a little better.

blah blah blah. And then this weird little mind of mine flashes forward to sometime in the late 80's, when my father was unemployed, and my mother, after 8 years of working for the same guy, barely making ends meet, suddenly quits her job, and the two of them rent a Cadillac and go on a 2-week vacation riding through the South. While some people would be horrified at the irresponsibility of that, it just puts this wonderful smile on my face. It was basically a "fuck the world and the way you're supposed to do things, I need a break, and I'm taking it" So its rather clear where I get this trait from - my insane parents! But seriously, perhaps it's insane, or denial of some sort, but perhaps it's some form of faith in oneself - take some risks, do what you need to do, you'll get back on track when you need to.

So, this past week, I've been enjoying doing my errands, riding my bike around the neighborhood, always going through Thomkins Square Park, and of course, it's spring. Beautiful spring. With all the little Impresionist painting dots of colors on the trees, a million shades of pale green and yellow, and a bit of white and pink and red, and circling the dog run, I am hit with this wonderful aroma. Lots of dogs, lots of dogfolks (and several yummy dog-boys), and the recently added layer of tree shavings from a tree they had to cut down last week. This lovely piney-cedary smell, the dogs frolicking, the dog-owners gossiping amongst themselves, the kid's playground a few yards away....... and i just inhale, and smile..... worry about the other stuff later, this is nice; I need this.




Tuesday, April 09, 2002
So, this morning, while readying more porn autions, I was reviewing Private Pool Party (1986, Adam & Co.), which has Max Montoya as one of the big, uncut stars. Not normally a "thing" for me (neither dislike, nor crave, foreskin) but I must say, this one guy's piercing, and his partner's playing around, pulling on this huge ring going thru his foreskin, leading the guy around the apartment by it, it was just fascinating (I think he had a taint ring, too!) So I rewound the tape, to start from the beginning, and the intro was so cool! An original song by The Checker Brothers, with these neat cartoons by some guy named ACE MOORCOCK (no doubt his real name). Very little on the web about this guy, except a mention on a FRESHMEN mag page, which seemed odd - hmmm, maybe Mr. Drub knows something about this guy. Anyway, I thought the drawings were cool enough that I converted 2 minutes of the video to digital, so I could then do screen captures - sorry it's not great quality, but you get the idea - more pics if you click these -




So, back to this YO LA TENGO thing. I knew I had this Simpson's Theme that I wanted to post, since it's short and fun. Meanwhile I got an email for some Bjork info, and went to audiogalaxy.com to find a song I thought I had but didn't, and something that I had requested the other night, but didn't download, popped up - another YO LA TENGO tune. It was a familiar title, and I was hoping it was a cover of this 1974 song that I loved so much in 8th grade, but I didn't expect it to sound so friggin' fantastic! And while listening to their version of Be Thankful For What You Got, I had to find out who was singing - I had always assumed that the band didn't sing, but they do, and it's great! So of course, I had to find the original, but didn't remember that it's a 7-minute long song - William Devaughn's Be Thankful For What You Got just swept me back to grade school, when in 7th and 8th grade, we got to sing pop songs in Church. See, going to Catholic school, we had mandatory mass once a week, and the young nuns and other teachers tried to figure out ways to get us involved and make it interesting to us. So, my whole grade went to mass at 8:15 a.m. By the time I was in 8th grade, I was the only white kid in my class, and only one of two in all of the 8th grade (3 classes of about 30 each). While there were times that it was difficult to be a minority of sorts, the times we got to bring our records to school and pick out songs for mass were always a highlight. My taste was god-awful back then, and fortunately I learned after one one horrible mistake never again to volunteer any of my 45's. (definately one of the times the word honkie was muttered several times in class) But we'd sing tons of Stevie Wonder (i.e. Heaven is 10 Zillion Light Years Away) and other cool stuff, and take turns reading whatever that part lay-people got to read (Epistles??).But it was in school, sorting thru records that was really fun, and you can imagine the fun we had trying to talk one of the nuns into believing Bennie and the Jets had religious meaning (i think the line about killing the fatted calf made her realize it was not a good idea for mass)!



Monday, April 08, 2002

well, sobering up, still in a good mood. hmmm. Is it because I'm rediscovering the talents of Max Montoya? Or that some of the OLD RELIABLE tapes I am slowly posting on eBay apparently are collectible? I was in a big HOMOGENIC mood, but wanted to hear some live, so I turned to my trusty ol' harddrive for that Oct 5th show. And you know how much I like to share, so here's Hyperballad from that show. And the finale, In Our Hands, when she is at her wildest while Matmos beats on their electronic cymbals...... well, crank it, get naked, and dance (I am!)



ow. sometimes it seems like there are spies out when I go out drinking. These spies then tell the teachers at the school on the next block to have extended playtime in the playground the next morning; they send the jack hammer guys to work on fire hydrants in front of my building, and all sorts of trucks do that beep-beep-beep backwards thing.



do you have anything to live for?
The question came at me at an odd moment, but not in a bad way. After my pal and I had gotten back into the neighborhood Saturday night, and were walking east, he asked this. I may not even have the exact wording of the question, but it oddly didn't take me long to answer - "life". He smiled; you know, in that, oh, o.k., it's a weird question and you're giving me a non-answer kinda way. But I continued, having had such a nice evening. "I mean, to experience what life has to offer me - like tonight, it was wonderful. Within 10 minutes of the performance, I was so overcome with emotion, I thought i would cry - just looking at these beautiful weird underwater creatures, moving about in these crazy ways; and this French Scientist who found it so wonderful that he had to film, and study, and show people, and this band, having seen these films, and becoming so inspired to create this amazing music, and organizing this show......." And while I didn't really complete the thought out loud, I think he knew where it went - and to having great friends who then share this stuff with me......

honestly, after doing the teeny bit of "research" to see what the performance was about - I'm not familiar with Yo La Tengo (although I realized later I had some covers of Ramones songs on my hard drive!) and definately not this scientist/film-maker, I stopped. I wanted to experience the show with as little preconceptions as possible. But from the first film - old, black and white, a bit murky - it was so playful, and the crabs looked totally out of some 50's sci-fi film ( who knows, maybe the films were used later in some of these!), and the music, sometimes whimsical, sometimes soothing or jarring, and hitting somewhere deep inside - it was hard to decide which I liked better. Obviously there was no need to choose; and sitting back, absorbing the visuals, the sounds, and the translated text on the films themselves, it was simply amazing. And I was glad I was already in this great unexplained good mood from the morning - you know how sometimes you look at something beautfilul and think "why can't I do that?" - I was so happy to be in that "gosh, how fuckin' wonderful that you did that" kinda mood.




Sunday, April 07, 2002
it smells like the art teacher's office
ok, so I smoked pot, and can't remember what else about tonight's Simpsons I liked.



just woke up from a nap. Ahhhh, daylight savings got me up real early, had some coffee, watched a bit of a porno movie, then read in bed, while listening to birds wake up. Quite nice, actually. While my preference would've been to have a sleeping cutie next to me, snoring, while I gently lick parts of his sleeping, furry body, it was nice nonetheless. More later on the fantastic Yo La Tengo show ( I wasn't familiar with their music, really, and it was amazing!).

My apologies to those of you who tried to see the Al Parker movie trailer from Wanted anytime after 2 a.m. Saturday morning - I panicked at all the hits, and had to take it down. But as I type this, I'm uploading the AVI file, but it'll be gone permanently by Monday morning - click Al's face on Thursday night's post to view.




Saturday, April 06, 2002

I dunno why, but at one point this morning, I found myself in a really good mood! Nothing I can pinpoint that triggered this, just doing my usual coffee/auction checking/porno packaging stuff, got out of the shower, dressed, and checked the mirror to make sure no lotion or toothpaste was on my face, and I had one of those moments. "hey handsome, you look pretty good!" ya know? Obviously no different than when I went to bed, and I'm not one to question a good mood when it comes to me, so I headed off on my errands. Bought a knap sack full of porn (this time a handful of magazines, as well --- oooh, Lon Flexxe!!), did some banking, shipped some videos off, and came home to find an invite to a pal's for poker/beer later. Funny, I never have anything to do on a Saturday night, but I actually have to call back and say "I have plans". I got asked by an ex to go to Lincoln Center (I think that's above 14th st...) to see some cool nature short films by Jean Painlev�,accompanied by Yo La Tengo live. How cool is that???? very very cool.



Friday, April 05, 2002
Several evenings ago, surfing the web, someone's blog (sorry, can't remember who) mentioned a magazine he liked. I clicked, I looked around, nothing but men at least 15 years younger than me with no trace of body or facial hair, and i was moving on to other stuff when I noticed this matchmaking quiz/form. I know, I know, pretty lame, but I filled it out anyway. You checkoff all this stuff, and it's supposed to give you this computer-generated letter that will then go out to the perfect men who you match up with. (Or I am the perfect man that they are getting matched up with?) I don't know how I would make this thing different, but the bland multi-choice format wasn't terribly imaginative. When it regurgiated my profile/intro letter a couple days later, I thought UGH! Who'd want to date YOU??? But just so you can poke fun at me, here goes- no editing, this is exactly the email I got back from them:

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ Your INTRODUCTION LETTER _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Hi, my name is bj. I am a
Gay male seeking a male penpal or soulmate.
I was raised in Chicago and I have an advanced degree.
My race is White/Caucasian and my heritage is Irish.
My religion is non-religious and my political views are liberal.
In order of importance, these are my traits & interests:
(Personality) sense of humor, warm hearted, playful,
(Philosophies) practical, idealistic, unconventional,
(Social) down-to-earth types, , ,
(Goals) , fun, knowledge,
(Educational Interests) Law/Justice, Political Science,
(Interest Groups) , , ,
(Viewing Interests) educational TV, ,
(Athletic Activities) , ,
(Hobbies) , , ,
(Musical Tastes) alternative, alternative, ,
(Eating Habits) vegetarian foods, sea food,
(Shows/Writers/Artists) Law and Order, Bjork,
I am 42 years old, 5' 8" tall, and proportionate in weight.
My eyes are brown and my hair is bald brown.
Among my most attractive features are my smile and smile.
I have no dependent kids, I don't smoke, and I drink moderately.
My field of work is ?.
. . .
Yours Truly,
bj in new york, ny
northeast region of the United States





awwwwwww, crap! Looks like I underestimated interest in the below movie trailer. I may have to delete the page by midnight tonight. Maybe this will help. If you know how to save it to your hard drive, rather than looking at the page "live" more than once, please do that by right-clicking here, "save target as", etc. (sorry, MAC users, I don't remember the instruction for doing it for you guys). Otherwise go ahead and check out the trailer by clicking AL's face pic below (I'll just sell myself on the street to pay for the bandwidth......... I wonder if DREAMHOST accepts subways tokens??)



Thursday, April 04, 2002



Funny, I knew I had some bandwidth left this month, thanks to the generous upgrading DREAMHOST did recently, but I was keeping kinda busy, and I forgot all about it. (My billing month runs from the 8th to the 7th; fascinating, isn't it?) But I got a note from an email pal today, asking about a film called Wanted. Yes, it's hard to come by; yes, it's fantastic, and ooooooooh yeah, I just happen to have a movie trailer! It stars two of my all time favorites - Al Parker and Jack Wrangler (who don't have sex together in this film, but they do in the fantastic 3-D Heavy Equipment, but that's another post...hehe), plus Will Seagers. Another great film from director Steve Scott, it's the gay porn version of The Defiant Ones , with the two prisoners escaping, chained together. Jack Wrangler is the mean warden who forces sex on all the studly inmates. Amazing how much sex Al Parker manages to have while chained to homophobic Seagers; but of course, this is gay porn, and Seagers does become a bit curious, of course, by the end of the film. Just remember, as I had to with the Kansas City Trucking Co trailer, this one will only be up until sometime this weekend, probably shutting it down Staurday when I check stats and have a heart attack.




Glitter-Disco-Synthesizer Night School
The facts we hate: we'll never meet. Walking down the road, everybody yelling "hurry up hurry up!" But I'm waiting for you, I must go slow.
Hmmm, depending on which X song is actually playing, my favorite seems to change. But it would definately have to be from More Fun In The New World - I had only lived in NYC for a few months when it came out, and I listened to it constantly. I didn't have much money (funny how some things never seem to change) but I amused myself with looking through the stacks of used vinyl at SOUNDS on St Mark's Place. One day I found the 12" promo for TRUE LOVE Pt. #2, which included a "club remix" (funny concept, X having a club mix!). Unfortunately, not having a proper stereo these days, I can't listen to that version, which is fantastic. Would've been great for the mood I was in yesterday - grumpy but willing to get over the grumpiness, and jumping around the apartment in nothing but boxers, cranking the computer's CD player. All these memories from that album came back to me late last night after seeing this post debating the best X song. Seeing X live at The Ritz back in '84, alone, and therefore willing to dance like a madman (I don't think it was called dancing then, you really just got shoved around alot, but with a beat). Lying on the floor in my Brooklyn apartment, no furniture, just a cheapo stereo, cranking the album, each song becoming my favorite while it played, only to be replaced when the next one came on. (One of those albums you sang along with, only you knew like 1/3 of the actual lyrics...). But the song that seemed to really encapsulate the amazing range of emotions that X spoke to has to be I Must Not Think Bad Thoughts - anger, futility, desire, despair; gosh, it cranks me up all over again, nearly 20 years later........



..........crawling back into bed. I'll leave the door open; if you have a fuzzy ass, feel free to join me.



Wednesday, April 03, 2002
He hasn't updated yet since moving, but the new site looks good. is that frog holding a hose?



I think we can all agree that most of the RULES OF THE BATHS also apply to backrooms, porno theatres, and peep-booths. I would move #7 up to #1.

I'm feeling sluggish and crappy today, possibly due to the realization that for all the petting that went on with TattooBoy Monday night, we never kissed. Given that he has a beautiful face, and a piece of metal in his lower lip, and despite my severe inebriation, kissing is something that I would have remembered. So, to hide my mild depression, I'm going to play silly songs and dance around in my underwear. This one, via Jocko's Playlist, is great - Bad Babysitter.




Tuesday, April 02, 2002
ok. to further embarrass myself, just a few minutes ago I went to the guy's job, just to say hello. No plan, except wanting to see his face in daylight (well, maybe "sober" is more accurate, since he works in a bar). Yup, very attractive man, very very handsome face. I studderred and stammerred for a few minutes, neither offering my number, nor asking for his. Then I said something about going, he asked why, and i stammered out something about cleaning house or some stupid nonsense; and he said "you know where to find me"

ugh. Sometimes I really wish I had balls. my preference, quite honestly, would have been to give him a set of keys, and say "use them whenever, hopefully often" - I'm really not cut out for this "wanna go on a date" thing...........



oh gosh. it's starting to come back to me, and it aint too pretty. After watching tattooed man run to The Phonix to get his jacket that he left there (or was he just fleeing from me??), I rode down Ave A and went into keyfood for the necessities I had left my apartment for several hours earlier. Cereal, soy milk, ice cream. I know I was stumbling down those aisles (sp?), but the cashier is always friendly to me, and somehow I made it home, and managed a few sentences of blogging. Believe it or not, I "corrected" the errors in the first line 3 times before giving up, grabbing a few spoonfuls of ice cream, and falling asleep somewhere in the direction of the bed. Must leave apartment, do errands, pretend I don't have massive headache. ouch.



ssmitten. i would never havre apprfoached a man so much younger than mw id his co-wworker hand't mentiioned the woed "smitten" to me a few weeks ago. gosh. i ccan barely tyep. whcxih meansits just as well that he couldnt have me over. more later, but skinny taattoed boy was even handsomer in real liffe than he was in m little fantasy/imagination. He works 4-10 tomorrow - should I drop by? he's this skinny tattooed man ioth this lilttle patch of hair just above his ass, perfect for licking, should i go for it?



Monday, April 01, 2002

I realized earlier today that I hadn't left my apartment in 36 hours! Fortunately, I had some errands that had to be done, so I got some fresh air. Meanwhile, I've been scanning some flyers and video boxes for some more porno auctions. These are from a company called Old Reliable. Old Reliable is/was pretty much a one-man operation (David something) which begun in the late 60's/early 70's. Initially still photography, he branched out into audio, and video tapes (I don't know if he ever did film). What I have are video tapes that I believe are from the mid-80's, as they seem to match up with what I've found in a BIJOU Video Catalogue.

The videos were usually taped in a private Los Angeles home, and include a wide range of men: White/black/latin; skinny/muscled; scruffy/tatooed/cigar-chomping; while some had done str8 or gay porn before the OLD RELIABLE taping, and some have done it since, most were amatuer guys, and the interest in them was becasue many had the "rough trade" look. Most are supposed to be straight, and pose for the cameraman, who encourages as much exhibitionism, including whacking off, of course, as possible. What is unique about these, besides being one of the earliest "Amatuer" style videos, is that the models talk about themselves, sometimes with prodding from the cameraman, and you usually see each model from his initial posing clothed, as he takes off his clothes, etc. The funny thing is, I had heard about them years ago, and the whole str8/rough trade thing didn't appeal to me at all. But watching, it's interesting to see some of these guys actually having fun, and the guy in the picutre, besides his great body, he's quite playful, and "mock poses" in the mirror after he cums, giggles, and has this great "aww shucks" demeanor that is quite attractive (and that cock bouncing around as he laughs ain't too bad, either!)




now, isn't that better without that GEOCITIES ad over in the upper right corner? And you probably never noticed the linkything before, right? Go visit those guys, several have given me HUGE ROCK-HARD HARD-ONS (I'm not saying which one's of course, that would be tacky). And especially hit-or-miss.org, GLBT site where I listed last June, and found a bunch of cool folks to read (although.......... I must say, it's like 99.8% under 40, not that I have age issues or anything..)



Hmmmm. On the one hand, after reading Andy's account of all these straight people at this queer co-ed sex party I had considered going to last night, good thing I didn't go (ewwwwww, str8 sex? ewwww!!) On the other hand, DAMNIT, I missed Andy in his boxers - GRRRRRRR!